The Thirteen Attributes of Mercy - The 13 Middos Shel Rachamim

One of the main features of the prayers of the High Holy Days is the recitation of the י"ג מדות של רחמים – the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy. These play a particularly prominent role in the daily Selichos recited at this time and in the Yom Kippur prayers. The Thirteen Attributes of Mercy were first revealed to Moses by God in the aftermath of the sin of the golden calf, when God forgave the Jewish people. (Exodus 34:6-7) The Talmud (Rosh Hashana 17b) tells us that God established a covenant that the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy never go unanswered and that God instructed Moses, “Whenever the Jewish people sin, let them perform this ‘order’ and their sins will be forgiven.”

There are, unsurprisingly, a vast number of commentaries on the exact meaning of these Thirteen Attributes and there is even some dispute about exactly how the words in these two verses should be divided into thirteen. For the ordinary person who wishes to recite the Thirteen Attributes with proper kavanah (intent), however, there is a need for a basic, straightforward, interpretation of the attributes that one can actually have in mind during prayer.

Moreover, as should be obvious, the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy are not a magical incantation of forgiveness. The Reishis Chochma (R’ Eliyahu di Vidas d.1592) writes (שער הענוה פרק א') that the Gaonim point out that the Talmud does not say that the Jewish people should “recite this order” for their sins to be forgiven, but that they should “perform this order.” This means that we must emulate these middos (attributes) in our own lives, and through this we will gain forgiveness. It is therefore important that when we recite these attributes, we have a clear idea of what they mean, not only as descriptions of God’s mercy, but also as practical guides for our own behavior.

The following is an highly condensed explanation of the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy that I compiled several years ago for my students (based on a wide variety of sources). After each attribute I am including, in parentheses, some additional commentary and notes on how we can apply this middah in practical terms. 

1. ה' – “Hashem” – God is merciful before we sin. (Even though He knows that we will sin, He is still merciful. So too, we should be kind and considerate to others, even if we don’t think they will appreciate it or reciprocate.)
   
   
2. ה' – “Hashem” – He is merciful after we sin when we repent. (If someone hurt us and sincerely wishes to make amends, we should forgive them wholeheartedly.)
   
   
3. א-ל – “God” – His power saves us from our sins after we repent. (If someone sincerely wishes to make amends for hurting us, then we should share the burden of reparation with them.)
   
   
4. רחום – “Merciful” – His mercy is active even before we repent. (If someone hurt us, we should not respond with anger and rejection, but with love and kindness, showing that way to forgiveness is still open.)
   
   
5. וחנון – “And Gracious” – He is kind to us even when we have not earned it.
   
   
6. ארך אפים – “Slow to Anger” – He waits patiently for us to repent. (Instead of punishing us immediately for our sins, as would be justified, God gives us time to repent on our own and avoid punishment. So too, if someone wrongs us, we should give the person time to make amends.)
   
   
7. ורב חסד – “And Abundant in Kindness” – He is biased to judge us favorably. (Whenever there is room for “doubt”, God’s kindness inclines Him to judge us favorably. Similarly, whenever there is room for doubt, we should judge others favorably.)
   
   
8. ואמת: – “And Truth” – He keeps His promises of good even if we are not deserving. (If we promised to do a good thing for another person, we should keep our word even if the person no longer deserves it.)
   
   
9. נצר חסד לאלפים – “He Keeps Kindness for Thousands [of generations]” – He rewards the righteous for two thousand generations. (If we owe a debt of gratitude to someone, we should continue to express that gratitude even to that person’s descendants.)
   
   
10. נשא עון – “He Lifts Up Sin” – When we repent, God “lifts up” our sins [of temptation]…
    
    
11. ופשע – “And Rebellion” – And our sins of rebellion…
    
    
12. וחטאה – “And Error” – And our unintentional sins, and transforms them into merits. (When a person sincerely wishes to make amends for hurting us, we should use this as an opportunity to develop an even closer friendship with the person.)
    
    
13. ונקה – “And He cleans” – Even when we need to be punished (i.e. cleansed) for our sins, He does so gradually, rather than overwhelmingly at once. (Even with repentance, the spiritual damage caused by the more severe sins may still require suffering to fully rectified. Even so, if the total punishment would be beyond our capacity to handle at once, then God spreads it out over time. So too, even in those cases where we must demand that someone make reparations for the harm that they have caused us, we should still be merciful and not demand that they do so in a way that is too difficult for them to handle.)

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Ki Savo - The Tochacha and Serving God with Joy

The bulk of Parshas Ki Savo discusses the prophecy of reward and punishment for the Jewish people. The Torah tells us that if we listen to the voice of God and obey his commandments, then we will be greatly blessed. It is here that we find the famous verses (Deuteronomy 28:3,6):

ברוך אתה בעיר וברוך אתה בשדה:

ברוך אתה בבאך וברוך אתה בצאתך:

“Blessed shall you be in the city, blessed shall you be in the field.

Blessed shall you be in coming, blessed shall you be in going.”

The prediction of blessing for obedience to the commandments of God is followed by the Tochacha – the Admonition. In the Tochacha, the Torah describes, at length and in very harsh and frightening terms, the terrible punishments that await the Jewish people, as a people and as individuals, when they fail to obey the commandments of the Torah. The Tochacha speaks of warfare and slavery, disease and madness, famine and poverty, and every other form of human suffering. The concept of reward and punishment is made very graphically clear.

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch writes (Deuteronomy 28:1) that the Tochacha is intended to stress the responsibility of every individual for the spiritual welfare of the nation. For when the nation suffers for its general failings, every individual – even the most righteous – suffers with it.

Although the subject matter of the Tochacha is very difficult for us, it also provides us with an essential key to understanding the events of Jewish history. The Jewish people have experienced great suffering over the millennia, despite consistently being morally superior to the surrounding peoples. This is the result of our special relationship with Hashem. Like any caring parent, God does not want His children to simply be superior to the surrounding environment, but that they should be truly good and righteous. Once we have absorbed the lessons of the Tochacha, the tragedies of Jewish history, while still tragic, are no longer mysteries.

When the Tochacha is read in the congregation on Shabbat, the custom is to read it in a low voice. Rav Avigdor Miller explained (The Path of Life p. 293) that this is to teach us an important lesson. Even when it is necessary to give strong rebuke to another, it should be done in as gentle a manner as is possible. “The most effective way of communicating and having people listen to you is to speak in a soft voice. ‘The gentle words of the wise are heard.’ (Ecclesiastes 9:17)”

In the midst of the Tochacha we find the statement that the Jewish people are being afflicted with these terrible punishments because they did not serve God with joy (Deuteronomy 28:47):

תחת אשר לא עבדת את ה' אלקיך בשמחה ובטוב לבב מרב כל:

“For you did not serve Hashem your God with joy and a good heart, when all was abundant.”

At first glance, the implication of this verse is that although the people were performing the mitzvos properly, their lack of joy in their service to God resulted in severe punishment. This is very surprising. While we can readily readily recognize the virtue of joy in the performance of the mitzvos, the lack of joy—by itself—would not seem to warrant such harsh punishment.

R' Matisyahu Salomon

Rav Mattisyahu Salomon, the mashgiach of the Lakewood yeshiva, explains (מתנת חיים-מועדים עמ' קל"ה) that this is not the intent of the Torah. Certainly, the grave punishments of the Tochacha are reserved only for the complete failure to perform the mitzvot entirely. The intent of the verse here is simply to explain how it is possible that the Jewish people could ever fall to such a low level of Torah observance. The Torah teaches us that this can only happen if, even when the Jewish people were observing the mitzvot, their observance was joyless. Only then could they come eventually to abandon the mitzvot entirely.

This teaches us a very important lesson. If one does not find joy in Torah and mitzvot, this is a clear indication that his Torah and mitzvot are flawed in some significant way. Perhaps he doesn’t properly appreciate the significance of mitzvot. Or perhaps he is performing the mitzvot incorrectly. A dry and mechanical observance of the mitzvot will quickly lose its appeal. We are required to find a way to serve God with joy.

Whenever we encounter an obligation that touches upon our inner feelings, people will often ask how can God command us to feel a certain way? We often hear people say, "I can't help how I feel!", as if our feelings are not subject to our control, and, in fact, there is a significant degree of truth to this. Exerting direct control over our feelings can be very difficult, and in many cases it is not possible, and attempting to do so can actually be harmful. But if this is true, then how can God demand from us that we control our emotions? For example, in our case, how can God require us to serve Him "with joy and a good heart"?

The answer is that while our emotions may seem to arise as if of their own accord from our experiences, how we perceive our experiences has a profound impact on our feelings and emotions. The exact same experience can inspire very different feelings, even in the same person, depending on how the person interprets or perceives the experience.

I remember once, as a child (I was probably about 9 years old), I was walking with some friends in our neighborhood and we encountered an older boy. He was probably only about 13 years old, but to us he seemed like a really big boy, almost an adult. He came over to us and starting asking us impolite questions, and making faces at us, and generally being rude. So we were rude back, and he started to run after us, and we ran away, and we called him names, etc. While this was going on we ran into an adult we knew, and we told him, "That boy is being mean to us!" He looked at the boy and, to our surprise, he became visibly upset, at us! He explained to us that this boy had not been making fun of us, he was mentally disabled and he was just being friendly. I still remember how this one piece of information hit me like a wave of ice water. Suddenly, in the place of my sense of justified anger, I felt guilt and shame. I looked at the boy, and now I could see it too, that he was just being nice and how confused and hurt he was by our behavior. Even today, more than thirty years later, I feel guilty when I think about this incident.

Ultimately, all of our emotions are rooted in how we perceive the world around us, and if our perception of the world is erroneous, then our feelings will reflect that error. It precisely in this manner that we are required to control our emotions, not by simply repressing our feelings, but by bringing our mental picture of the world into congruence with the ultimate truth revealed in the Torah.

In no area is this more important than with regard to happiness, and it is for this reason that failure to serve God with happiness is indicative of a much deeper spiritual problem. God has given us the great gifts of Torah and mitzvos, yet so often we act as if these are not gifts at all but burdens! This is rooted in a fundamentally distorted perception of our relationship with God that can be illustrated with the following analogy:

Imagine the owner of a small store, living in an urban neighborhood. Everyday he struggles to keep his business functioning, so that he can bring home enough money to pay the bills. Then one day, the door opens and in walks one of the local mobsters, followed by two huge thugs. "Nice store you have here, bud," he says with a grin, "wouldn't want to see anything happen to it." The two thugs chuckle, as a chill runs down the store-owner's back. "Tell you what," the mobster continues, "we have a service for guys like you. All you gotta do is pay a monthly fee, and we guarantee that nothing happens to your place of business. It's like insurance. You interested?" The storeowner knows exactly what is happening, and he realizes that he has no choice but to agree. "How much?" "A special deal for you, just $10 a month," the mobster replies, "that's practically for free!" And so, every month, the store-owner hands over his $10 dollars. And even though it's just $10, every time he pays that money he is filled with anger and resentment. But he has no choice; the mobster is stronger than him and if he doesn't do what the mobster says, then the mobster will destroy everything he has.

Now imagine, in a parallel universe, the same store-owner, and one day the door opens and in walks a fellow in a suit. "Hi," he says with a smile, "I don't know if you remember me, but I grew up in this neighborhood. You once helped me when I was a little kid and one of the bigger kids was bullying me. I have done very well for myself over the years, and I really want to show my gratitude to you, and to the community as a whole that got me off to such a great start. I think your store could do very well with a proper capital investment, so I would like to become a silent partner in your business." The surprised store owner asks, "How much money are you talking about?" and the fellow responds with a number well into the seven digits. "Don't worry," the fellow says, "your obligation to me will be minimal. I'm not really looking to make money off this, so all you have to do is send me a monthly payment of $10 a month." The fellow then writes out a check, hands it to the store-owner, and walks out the door. And so, every month, the store-owner pays his ten dollars to his benefactor, and the every time he wonders how such a minuscule payment can possibly be sufficient. Surely he ought to be doing more, but the "investor" won't hear of it.

There are two ways that we can view our obligation to obey God's commandment. I can look at all that I have: my life, my wife, my children, my home, my job, my cars, my bank accounts, my intelligence, my health, etc. and I can say, "These are mine! But God says that if I don't do what He says, He will destroy it all!" So I obey, because God is stronger than me, and I am afraid. Yet, every time I obey God's command,  I resent it.

Or I can recognize the truth, that everything that I have in life was given to me by God. I had no prior claim on anything before He gave it to me; I didn't even exist! God owed me nothing, yet He gave all of this to me, even though I had done absolutely nothing to earn it. And now God tells me that there are some things that He expects from me. There are a some rules and regulations that apply to all of these gifts that he has given me. When one looks at the world with this perspective, it is impossible not to see the mitzvos as the ultimate bargain. How can you not serve God with joy, when you realize that all God wants in exchange for all that He has given us is that we follow a few rules?

The sad reality is that it is all too easy to forget the true nature of the world, and to see God as if He is interfering in our lives. Much of the daily prayer service is intended precisely to help us keep the true perspective clear in our minds. As we see from the Tochacha, this task is of central importance. A Judaism without joy is a Judaism that is doomed to failure, if not in one generation, then the next.

Rav Moshe Feinstein would frequently say, "People destroyed their children by always repeating es iz shver tzu zien a Yid (it is hard to be a Jew). No – it is not hard to be a Jew. It is beautiful and joyous to be a Jew." (Reb Moshe p.73) If we truly appreciate the privilege of Torah and mitzvos, then we will always be filled with joy and happiness that we are Jews.

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Ki Seitzei - The Lesson of Shatneiz

In Parshas Ki Seitzei we read (Deuteronomy 22:11), "לא תלבש שעטנז צמר ופשתים יחדו" - "You shall not wear shatneiz, wool and linen together." 

This is the prohibition of shatneiz, wearing any garment containing a mixture of wool and linen (flax). The prohibition includes any use of such a material to warm the body (such as a blanket).

Shatneiz is one of the classic examples of a chok - a non-rational commandment. Nevertheless, as is the case with all of the chukim, there are always insights and lessons that can be drawn from this commandment.

The midrash (תנחומה בראשית ט', פרקי דר' אליעזר כ"א) connects the prohibition of shatneiz to the incident of Cain and Abel in Genesis 4. As the Torah tells us there, Cain brought an offering before God from the “fruit of the ground” and his brother, Abel, brought an offering from the choicest of his flock of sheep. God showed favor only to Abel’s offering because, as the commentaries explain, Abel brought from the best of his sheep, whereas Cain brought inferior material from his crops. Cain was angered by this and murdered his brother. The midrash states that the crop that Kayin brought as an offering was פשתים – flax. The midrash continues that this is the reason why it is forbidden to combine linen (which is made from flax) with wool (which comes from sheep) in our garments.

The Yismach Yisrael (Rav Yerachmiel Yisrael Yitzchak Danziger of Alexander, d.1910) uses this medrash to explain the deeper meaning of the verse from Eishes Chayil, the famous paean of praise for the Jewish woman written by King Solomon in Proverbs 31. The verse (Proverbs 31:13) states, "דרשה צמר ופשתים ותעש בחפץ כפיה" - "She seeks out wool and linen and her hands work willingly."

The Yismach Yisrael explains the words דרשה צמר ופשתים to mean, “She delves (דרש) into the meaning of wool and linen” - she seeks out the meaning of the prohibition of shatneiz taught by the medrash and she learns that the reason the offering of Abel found favor before God was that Abel made his offering with genuine happiness and enthusiasm, whereas Cain only gave from the poorer quality plants. Having learned this lesson and taking it to heart, ותעש בחפץ כפיה – “her hands work willingly;” she fulfills the commandments of God with happiness and enthusiasm.

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Parshas Re'eh - On Excessive Mourning

In Parshas Re'eh we read (Deuteronomy 14:1-2):

בנים אתם לה' אלקיכם לא תתגדדו ולא תשימו קרחה בין עיניכם למת: כי עם קדוש אתה לה' אלקיך ובך בחר ה' להיות לו לעם סגלה מכל העמים אשר על פני האדמה: 

You are the children of Hashem your God; you shall not cut yourselves or make a bald spot between your eyes for the dead. For you are a holy people to Hashem your God, and Hashem has chosen you to be for Him a treasured people from all peoples that are upon the face of the earth.

In this passage, God forbids us from engaging in self-mutilation as an expression of mourning and grief when someone passes away. (Such practices were commonplace in many ancient cultures, and still exist today among some groups.) The Torah tells us that to engage in such mourning practices somehow contradicts the idea that we are "the children of Hashem" and a "holy people to Hashem." What is the connection between these two concepts?

In his commentary on the Torah, Rav Avraham ibn Ezra (d.1167) writes that the message here is that God loves us even more than a father loves his children, and therefore we should trust Hashem like a small child trusts his father, even when he cannot understand his father's actions, that no matter what happens, everything God does is truly for our benefit.

The Ramban (Rav Moshe ben Nachman, d.1270) cites the explanation of the ibn Ezra, and adds that part of the underlying message here is that, as the children of God and His treasured people, we should have absolute confidence in the reality of the afterlife. For this reason, excessive acts of grief and mourning, such as self-mutilation, are inappropriate, for they imply that the loss of our loved ones is absolute. However, the Ramban continues, the Torah does not prohibit crying over the death of a loved one, for it is natural for those who love each other to cry upon their separation, even in life.

Rabbi Mattisyahu Salomon, the famous mashgiach of the Lakewood yeshiva, expanded upon this idea in a speech (printed in With Hearts Full of Faith, p.75):

A father and mother send off their son to a yeshivah in Israel. They are the ones that encouraged him to go. They helped him choose the yeshivah, and they are the ones paying for it. Nevertheless, when they take their son to the airport and say good-bye, they cry. Why do they cry? Isn't everything going exactly as they wanted it to go? Why does a mother cry at her daughter's wedding? Because it is human nature to cry at times of parting with a loved one.

When a loved one dies, it is a moment of parting, not only for a certain period of time but for as long as we live on this earth. This is the pain we are allowed to feel. This is the pain that we are supposed to feel. It is right to feel the loss of a departed loved one, and it is right to give expression to that loss with our tears. But excessive grief? That is forbidden. Did we ever see parents mutilating themselves and tearing out their hair in the airport when they are sending off their children to study in a distant land? Not very likely. Self-mutilation expresses something much deeper than the pain of parting. It expresses the shock at the immensity of the tragedy and horror at coming face-to-face with evil. These have no place at a Jewish death. 

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Book Review - "The Neshamah Should Have an Aliyah" by Rabbi Tzvi Hebel

When I started this blog, I was approached by a good friend, Rabbi Moshe Haikins, the founder and director of the Chevrah Lomdei Mishnah - The Society for the Mishnah Study, with the request that I read and review a book that they had published (in cooperation with Judaica Press). Of course, there is a danger in accepting such a request from a friend, as it entails the risk of having to inform your friend of your true opinion of the book. This is especially daunting when the book is already in print and your criticism can no longer serve any constructive purpose.

Thankfully, I was not faced with this difficulty in this case. In The Neshamah Should Have an Aliyah, Rabbi Tzvi Hebel has succeeded in producing an outstanding work that will probably become a standard text in the English speaking Jewish world. The work deals with an issue that everyone is eventually faced with; how to properly memorialize a deceased loved one according to Jewish tradition.

The book begins with a general overview of the different concepts that underlie the various traditional Jewish practices for memorializing the departed. All of these concepts are based upon the basic principle that the departed do not cease to exist at death, and that even after death, it is possible for the living to continue to contribute to the welfare of our loved ones who have passed on. Most significantly, the departed continue to gain merit through the good deeds of their children and family. Moreover, good deeds done with the intent to bring merit upon the deceased, are themselves raised to higher level, for in addition to the good deed itself, such acts also include the elements of chessed (kindness) and kibbud av v'eim (honor of parents).

However, the real strength and uniqueness of this work is in the next section, which makes up the bulk of the work, titled, "What You Can Do - A Practical Guide." This is a comprehensive, and very practical, guide to the many different traditional practices used to memorialize and gain merit for the deceased.

The only way to really appreciate how comprehensive this work is to look over the table of contents. The topics covered include Torah study (both during the period of mourning and afterwards), charity and chessed, prayer (covering the recitation of kaddish, yizkor, and other such practices), the tombstone, visiting the grave, naming children after the deceased, the yahrtzeit (yearly anniversary of the deceased's passing), and so on.

All of these are accompanied by highly practical advice and information. Thus, in reference to the practice of studying mishnayos during the shivah (first seven days of mourning) based upon the name of the deceased (in which each mishnah begins with a letter from the Hebrew name of the deceased), the publishers included an appendix to the book that has a mishnah with translation for each letter of the Hebrew alphabet.

Similarly, when discussing charity and chessed, the author includes an introduction to setting up a gemach - a fund for free loans of money or other acts of kindness - which can be an outstanding source of merit for both the deceased and the living. This book even includes names and phone numbers of organizations and experienced individuals who are willing to help you set up a gemach.

And, in connection to the practice of visiting the grave site, the book includes a separate pamphlet, printed on glossy card-stock, with the traditional prayers that are recited at the cemetery. The book also includes a CD with a presentation, both in audio (for a conventional CD player) and video, titled, "Providing Eternal Merit" by the world-famous speakers, Rabbi Yissocher Frand and Rabbi Paysach Krohn. (Obviously, these items are not included in the Kindle edition.)

The book even includes a sample agenda for a family meeting for discussing what the family can do to memorialize their departed loved ones.

Yet despite the comprehensive and practical nature of this work, Rabbi Hebel has succeeded in producing  a book that is of a reasonable size (well under 200 pages) and which is written in clear, accessible language. The book includes an index and glossary, and the longer sections are followed by bulleted summaries. 

In short, with this work, Rabbi Hebel has performed an extraordinary service for the Jewish community. He has provided us with a user-friendly guide to a topic that we are often first confronted with at a time of great stress. I highly recommend this work for every Jewish home.

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Rabbi Hebel and the Chevrah Lomdei Mishnah have also published Mishnas Chayim, a collection of insights on the weekly Torah portion from the Mishnah originally published in their popular weekly parsha sheet.

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Elul – The Lion Roars

“The lion roars! Who is not afraid?” – Amos 3:8

The commentaries (של"ה הקדוש, מס' ר"ה, נר מצוה בשם הקדמונים) tell us that the word אריה - lion – is an acronym for אלול - Elul, ראש השנה - Rosh HaShana, יום כיפור - Yom Kippur, and הושענה רבה - Hoshana Raba. This period of time, beginning with the month of Elul until Hoshana Raba, the seventh day of the festival of Succos, is a time for introspection and repentance. During this time, Jewish tradition teaches, the gates of teshuva – return – are opened.

The Chayei Adam (Rabbi Avraham Danzig, d.1820) writes (138:1):

Out of the love of the Holy One, blessed be He, towards His people Israel, He has done abundant good for us, and He has commanded us to return to Him anytime we have sinned. And, while teshuva is beneficial at all times, nevertheless, the month of Elul is particularly chosen and prepared beyond the other days of the year for the acceptance of teshuva.

For these days have been days of favor from the moment that we were chosen to be a nation. For after Israel sinned with the golden calf and the Tablets were broken on the seventeenth of Tamuz, Moses went up on the mountain and prayed, and the Holy One, blessed be He, said to him (Exodus 34:1), “Carve for yourself [two stone tablets like the first ones]”, and He found favor to give him a second set of tablets.

Moses then went [back] up on the first of Elul and remained there [for forty days] until Yom Kippur, which is the completion of the atonement. And it states in [the midrash] Tana D’Vei Eliyahu:

“For all these days the people of Israel engaged in fasting, and on the final day – the tenth of Tishrei – they decreed a fast day and they fasted overnight. Therefore, this day – which is Yom Kippur – was established for eternity for atonement.”

And because these [forty] days [from the beginning of Elul until Yom Kippur] were days of favor at that time, therefore every year mercy is again aroused above [during this time] and they are days of favor.

Elul is a time of great opportunity. However, like every true opportunity, it is also a great responsibility. For if God has granted us the opportunity to change and improve and we do not make use of that opportunity, then we effectively compound our guilt.

In previous generations the significance of Elul was better appreciated. The story is told of the marketplace of Kelm, Lithuania – the little town that was home to the famous Talmud Torah of Kelm – where a Gentile was attempting to bargain with a Jewish merchant, and he wasn’t getting anywhere. Finally, another Gentile approached him and asked him why he was trying to bargain. "What?" responded the bargainer, "Of course, I’m trying to bargain! Everyone knows that the initial asking price is always just a bluff!" To which the second Gentile responded, "Don’t you know? It's Elul! The Jews don't bluff during Elul!”

As we enter into this period, and approach the days of judgment on Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, it behooves us to think over the past year and the events that have taken place and to remind ourselves that happened in the past year was decreed in the previous Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur.

I heard many times from my rebbe, Rabbi Yitzchok Knobel שליט"א, that it is very easy for us to get discouraged about truly changing our behavior at this time of year. After all, every year we go through the motions and afterwards we quickly revert to our prior behavior. He used to advise us to choose one concrete act, even if it was fairly minor, to improve and to make a solid commitment in that one area. God doesn't expect us to change overnight, He only wants us to make progress, and if we can show concrete progress we have a far better chance of a positive decision on these days of judgment.

So, let us look over our lives. Let us pick something – one thing – that we can truly commit to change, even if only for a specified period of time. Let it be a decision to recite a daily prayer, to attend a Torah class or to study Torah with a partner, to help another person, to speak gently to our spouse, or any similar positive act.

And may God grant us a sweet new year!

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From Av to Elul – From Tragedy to Repentance

We are currently in the Jewish month of Av, the month devoted to mourning the destruction of the Holy Temples in Jerusalem – which culminates in the fast of Tisha B’Av – and to our faith that God will eventually comfort us – as expressed in the seven haftaros read each Shabbos between Tisha B’Av and Rosh HaShana. The month of Av is followed by Elul, the month devoted to teshuva (repentance) in preparation for Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur.

What is the meaning of this sudden shift from the month of tragedy and mourning to the month of penitence and rapprochement between Man and God? To understand this we need to gain a deeper insight into the basic message of Av.

The Midrash (Eicha Raba 1:1) states:

Three [prophets] prophesied using the term “eicha”: Moses, Isaiah, and Jeremiah. Moses said, “How (Eicha) can I bear this people alone…” (Deut. 1:12). Isaiah said, “How (Eicha) has the faithful city become a harlot…” (Isaiah 1:21). Jeremiah said, “Alas! (Eicha) She sits in solitude…” (Lamentations 1:1).

R’ Levi said, “This is analogous to a noble-woman that had three servants, one saw her when she was in comfort, one saw her in her licentiousness, and one saw her in her disgrace. Similarly, Moses saw Israel in their honor and comfort and said, “How can I bear this people alone…”, Isaiah saw them in their licentiousness and said, “How has the faithful city become a harlot…”, and Jeremiah saw them in their disgrace and said, “Alas! She sits alone…”

These verses of Eicha are all read in the month of Av – the verses in Deuteronomy and Isaiah are read on the Shabbos before Tisha B’Av and the book of Lamentations is read on Tisha B’Av – and, taken together, they give us a key to the basic message of Av. The Elef HaMagen (Commentary on the Torah by Rav Eliezer Papo, d. 1824, author of the Pele Yo'etz) draws a connection between these three verses of Eicha and a passage in the Talmud (Yoma 35b):

A poor man, a wealthy man, and a wicked man are brought before [the heavenly court for] judgment. They say to the poor man, “Why didn't you study Torah?” If he responds that he was too poor and was preoccupied with his livelihood, they say to him, “Were you more impoverished than Hillel?” [Hillel the Elder, one of the greatest sages of the Talmud, was also an extremely poor man.] … 

They say to the wealthy man, “Why didn't you study Torah?” If he responds that he was wealthy and was preoccupied with his financial obligations, they say to him, “Were you more wealthy than Elazar ben Charsom?” [Rabbi Elazar ben Charsom was a prominent sage who was also extremely wealthy.]…

They say to the wicked man, “Why didn't you study Torah?” If he responds that he was very good-looking and was [therefore] preoccupied by his desires, they say to him, “Were you more beautiful than Joseph HaTzadik (the Righteous)?” [Joseph, the son of Jacob, was extremely beautiful and was severely challenged in this regard when he lived in the home of Potiphar in Egypt.]…

Thus we find that Hillel obligates the poor, Rabbi Elazar ben Charsom obligates the wealthy, and Joseph HaTzadik obligates the wicked.

The Talmud gives three categories of rationalizations – the excuses of poverty, wealth, and temptation – that people rely upon to deny their responsibility for their moral failures. Almost every excuse that we make for ourselves falls into one of these three categories. These three excuses are paralleled in the three verses of Eicha. Moses spoke of the Jewish people in their time of success, paralleling the challenge of wealth; Isaiah spoke of the Jewish people in their time of sin, paralleling the challenge of temptation; and Jeremiah spoke of the Jewish people in their time of suffering, paralleling the challenge of poverty.

Rav Avigdor Miller

The Midrash (Eicha Raba 1:1) points out the connection between the word Eicha and the word Ayeka (both words are spelled identically) in Genesis 3:8, when, after the sin of eating from the Tree of Knowledge, God calls out to Man, “Ayeka?" - "Where are you?” What exactly was God asking? God certainly knew exactly where Adam and Eve were hiding! Rav Avigdor Miller explains:

Every sinner hides from Hashem… behind self-justifications and self-deceptions. ...all sinners are actually hiding from Him behind their barricades of self-deception and self-justification. ... Hashem calls to the Man: “Where are you?” meaning: Reveal yourself to Me, by removing the barricades of self-justification and false reasoning behind which you attempt to hide from Me.

The cry of Eicha – How can it be! – alludes to that original call of Ayeka – Where are you? – in which God calls us to stop deceiving ourselves and return to Him. The tragedies we mourn in the month of Av are repetitions of that call, intended to shake us out of our complacency and force us to accept responsibility for our actions. The message of Av is precisely this, that it was our failures – failures that we continue to repeat – that brought about these tragedies, and that we must recognize this and acknowledge our own power to change our behavior. We are not slaves to our circumstances; as human beings we are fundamentally free to control our actions, and we therefore bear the responsibility to do so.

Maimonides

Maimonides devotes two full chapters of his laws of repentance to the topic of free-will (Hil. Teshuva 5:1-3):

Free-will is given to every human being. If he wishes to turn himself to the good path and to be righteous, he has the ability to do so, and if he chooses to turn himself to the bad path, and be wicked, he has the power to do so....

Do not think... that God decrees upon a person at the beginning of his existence whether he will be righteous or wicked. It is not so! Rather, every single human being has the ability to be as righteous as Moses our Teacher, or as wicked as Jeroboam....

This concept is a major principle and the pillar of the Torah and the Commandment, as it says (Deuteronomy 30:15), "See, I have placed before you today life and good, and death and evil." And it is written (ibid. 11:26), "See, I have placed before you today blessing and curse."

Maimonides concludes his discussion of free-will stating (Hil. Teshuva 7:1):

Since, as we have explained, every human being has free-will, a man should strive to repent and to cleanse his hands of his sins, so that he should die as a penitent and merit to the life of the world to come.

The recognition of our free-will and responsibility is of fundamental importance as we enter the month of Elul – the month of teshuva (repentance). As long as we deceive ourselves into thinking that our actions are not within our control, teshuva is impossible. It is only after we accept responsibility for our deeds that we can begin the process of teshuva.

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Eikev - The Sin of Aaron

In Parshas Eikev, Moses recounts his dialogue with God in the aftermath of the sin of the golden calf and his efforts to intercede on the behalf of the Jewish people. In the course of his account, Moses mentions that God was angry not just with the Jewish people as a whole, but also with Aaron the priest (Deuteronomy 9:20), "And with Aaron God became very angry to destroy him, and I prayed for Aaron as well at that time."

This appears to be a clear statement that Aaron sinned in his actions at the time of the sin of the golden calf (as told in Exodus 32). However, this needs clarification because in Exodus there is no clear indication that God condemned Aaron's actions, and the Sages generally understand Aaron's apparent concessions at that time as an attempt to restrain and limit the sinful actions of the people who were demanding that Aaron construct a "god" for them to replace Moses.

These questions are raised by Rabbeinu Bachya (d.1340) in his commentary on this verse. He answers that God is judging Aaron is being judged according to a very high standard:

והתשובה בזה כי הקב"ה מדקדק עם הצדיקים אפילו כחוט השערה... ואע"פ שכוונתו היתה לשמים, מכל מקום המעשה לאהרן בידים היה חילול השם, ואע"פ שהוא לא חטא בו הנה החטיא את ישראל שלא בכוונה

The answer to this question is that God is demanding with the righteous to a hair's-breadth... and therefore, even though [Aaron's] intent was for the sake of Heaven, nevertheless Aaron's physical act was a desecration of the name of God, and while [Aaron] himself did not sin with [the calf], he unintentionally caused the Jewish people to sin.

So we find that Aaron is both praised and condemned for his actions at the time of the sin of the golden calf, and his actions are interpreted as both righteous and sinful. This dual perspective is reflected in the debate found in the commentaries on a somewhat vague passage in the Talmud (Sanhedrin 6b-7a). The Talmud is discussing the issue of a judge arbitrating a compromise:

רבי אליעזר בנו של רבי יוסי הגלילי אומר: אסור לבצוע, וכל הבוצע ־ הרי זה חוטא, וכל המברך את הבוצע ־ הרי זה מנאץ, ועל זה נאמר, "בצע ברך נאץ ה'"ץ אלא יקוב הדין את ההר, שנאמר, "כי המשפט לאלהים הוא", וכן משה היה אומר יקוב הדין את ההר. אבל אהרן אוהב שלום ורודף שלום, ומשים שלום בין אדם לחבירו, שנאמר, "תורת אמת היתה בפיהו ועולה לא נמצא בשפתיו בשלום ובמישור הלך אתי ורבים השיב מעון."

Rabbi Eliezer the son of R' Yosi HaGalili says: It is forbidden [for a judge] to compromise, and he who compromises sins, and anyone who blesses a compromiser blasphemes, for on this it is said (Psalms 10:3), "He who blesses a compromiser blasphemes against God."  Rather, let the law puncture through the mountain, as it says (Deuteronomy 1:17), "For the judgment is God's." And so Moses would say: "Let the law puncture through the mountain." But Aaron [who was not a judge, but a private citizen] loved peace and pursued peace and made peace between man and his fellow, as it says (Malachi 2:6), "The law of truth was in his mouth, injustice was not found in his lips, he walked with Me in peace and equity and he turned many away from sin."

While the exact ramifications of this discussion in legal terms is beyond the scope of this discussion, we find in this passage that while the Talmud condemns the encouragement of compromise by a sitting judge, it praises the pursuit of compromise outside the courtroom, as exemplified by Aaron. The Talmud continues discussing the propriety of compromise in a court setting and then concludes:

אמר רבי תנחום בר חנילאי: לא נאמר מקרא זה אלא כנגד מעשה העגל, שנאמר, "וירא אהרן ויבן מזבח לפניו." מה ראה? אמר רבי בנימין בר יפת אמר רבי אלעזר: ראה חור שזבוח לפניו, אמר: אי לא שמענא להו השתא עבדו לי כדעבדו בחור, ומיקיים בי "אם יהרג במקדש ה' כהן ונביא", ולא הויא להו תקנתא לעולם. מוטב דליעבדו לעגל, אפשר הויא להו תקנתא בתשובה.

R' Tanchum bar Chanilai said: This verse was said only with regard to the story of the [golden] calf, as it says (Exodus 32:5), "And Aaron saw and he built an altar before it."  What did he see? — R' Binyamin bar Yaphes said in the name of R' Elazar: He saw that Chur was slaughtered before him. [Aaron] said, If I do not listen to them, they will now do to me as they did to Chur, and through me (i.e. my death) will be fulfilled [the verse] (Lamentations 2:20), "if a priest and a prophet will be killed in the Sanctuary of God" and there will be no rectification for them forever! It is better that they serve the calf, for which a rectification through repentance is possible.

Here we find an explanation of why Aaron decided it was better to cooperate with the sin of the golden calf rather than directly oppose it. However, there is a significant ambiguity in the discussion. When R' Tanchum bar Chanilai says, "this verse", what verse is he actually referring to?

Rashi understands R' Tanchum bar Chanilai to be referring to the verse from Psalms cited in the earlier passage, "He who blesses a compromiser blasphemes against God." According to Rashi, R' Tanchum bar Chanilai is criticizing Aaron's action, saying that, while Aaron certainly had good intentions, he ultimately engaged in an illicit compromise.

Tosafos, however, understands R' Tanchum bar Chanilai to be referring to the verse from Malachi cited earlier with regards to Aaron, "The law of truth was in his mouth, injustice was not found in his lips, he walked with Me in peace and equity and he turned many away from sin." According to Tosafos, R' Tanchum bar Chanilai is actually defending, and even praising, Aaron, saying that through his actions at the time of the sin of the golden calf "he turned many away from sin."

It appears that Tosafos' understanding is generally accepted as the dominant opinion in this debate. This may be because it reflects a sentiment found in many other midrashic sources that discuss Aaron's role in the sin of the golden calf. For example, the medrash (Vayikra Rabba 10:3) states that is what because of his actions at the time of the sin of the golden calf, and his willingness to shift the burden of guilt from the Jewish people to himself, that Aaron was chosen to be the first, and ancestor of, the kohanim (priests).

How then, however, are we to understand the clear condemnation of Aaron's actions here in Parshas Eikev?

One possible answer is given by the Taz (R' Dovid HaLevi, d.1667) in his commentary on Rashi on this verse (בספרו דברי דוד), who suggests that perhaps the sin of Aaron was that, although his primary motivation was certainly for the sake of Heaven, because of his fear for his life, Aaron failed to pray for God to inspire the sinners to turn away from their sinful actions.

However, it would seem that the primary answer is more basic, and is found in the commentary of Rabbeinu Bachya that we quoted at the beginning of this discussion. It is certainly true that Aaron had good intentions, and that, in the big picture, his act was not truly a sin at all but an act of righteousness and self-sacrifice which, ultimately, saved many people from sin. Nevertheless, when all is said and done, there remains an inescapable element of chillul Hashem (desecration of God's name) in the fact that Aaron, one of the most righteous men of all time, not only failed to openly oppose the worshipers of the golden calf, but was actually the one who made the calf for them!

Just as justice required that God recognize and reward Aaron's good intentions, it also demanded that Aaron atone for the element of chillul Hashem in his actions. As we know, chillul Hashem is considered one of the worst possible sins. Chazal tell us that, unlike other sins, one is held liable for an unintentional chillul Hashem in a manner similar to an intentional sin (Avos 4:4) and that even repentance, Yom Kippur, and suffering cannot atone for the sin of chillul Hashem and full atonement for chillul Hashem can only be achieved through death (Yoma 86a).

For a person who had reached the heights of perfection that Aaron had achieved, this flaw was all the more glaring and significant. Thus, there is no real contradiction between the various sources that praise Aaron for his actions and those that condemn his actions.

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Hespeidim for my Father

My father with one of my daughters in 2004.

Today is the second yartzheit of my father, R' Dovid Aharon ben Avraham zichrono l'vracha.

I am uploading a recording of the hespeidim (eulogies) said at his funeral in Cleveland on 21 Av 5771 - Aug. 1, 2010, before he was transported to Israel for burial. (Unfortunately, there is no recording of the hespeidim given in Israel.)

The speakers are, in order:

• Rav Boruch Hirschfeld שליט"א
• Myself 
• Dr. Roth (a friend and student of my father)

The Keil Malei at the end was said by Rav Sholom Shapiro שליט"א.

Hespedim for my father

TECHNICAL NOTE

This is the first time I have attempted to embed a sound file and I can't guarantee that the file will play.
I am using the Yahoo Media Player, and it is currently working on my computer.

If the file doesn't run, you should be able to just download it.

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Va'eschanan - The Mitzva of Reciting the Shema

The Torah (Deuteronomy 6:7) tells us, "and you shall speak of them... when you lie down and when you get up." This is the mitzva of krias Shema - reciting the Shema. The essential idea of the Shema is kabbalas ol malchus Shamaim - accepting the yoke of the kingdom of Heaven, and the mitzva obligates us to do so twice a day at specific times , once in the morning and once at night.

The Noam HaMitzvos (R' Naftali Hertz, d.1912) explains (Mitzva 420) that the obligation to recite the Shema both by day and by night is intended to convey the message that commitment to the service of God and the observance of His commandments applies to us in all times and all circumstances. Whether in good times, symbolized by day, or bad times, symbolized by night, whether we are rich or poor, free or oppressed, we remain equally obligated to obey the commandments of God.

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