Using the Opportunity of Rosh Hashana

אמר רבי כרוספדאי אמר רבי יוחנן: שלשה ספרים נפתחין בראש השנה, אחד של רשעים גמורין, ואחד של צדיקים גמורין, ואחד של בינוניים. צדיקים גמורין ־ נכתבין ונחתמין לאלתר לחיים, רשעים גמורין ־ נכתבין ונחתמין לאלתר למיתה, בינוניים ־ תלויין ועומדין מראש השנה ועד יום הכפורים. זכו ־ נכתבין לחיים, לא זכו ־ נכתבין למיתה. (מסכת ראש השנה טז:)

Rabbi Kruspedai said, Rabbi Yochanan said, “Three books are open on Rosh Hashana, one for the completely wicked, one for the completely righteous, and one of beinonim (intermediates). The completely righteous are written and sealed immediately for life, the completely wicked are written and sealed immediately for death, and the beinonim are suspended and waiting from Rosh Hashana until Yom Kippur. If they merit, they are written for life; if they do not merit, they are written for death. (Talmud, Rosh Hashana 16b)

The Talmud tells us that the final judgment for the intermediates - the beinonim - is not made until Yom Kippur. If, at that point, they have “merited” - through repentance for their sins - then they will be written for life. Otherwise, they will be written for death. However, this seems to indicate that if a beinoni does nothing at all, he will be written for death. Why should this be so? If he has done nothing at all, then he is still a beinoni!

The Abudarham (14th century commentary on the Siddur written by R' Dovid Abudarham) answers that the failure of the beinoni to use this opportunity to repent for his sins is itself a sin and puts the beinoni into the category of the guilty.

This brings out an extraordinarily important point. The period of the Aseres Yemei Teshuva (Ten Days of Repentance), which begins with Rosh Hashana and ends with Yom Kippur, is an extraordinary opportunity for us to rectify our sins through repentance and regain a proper relationship with God. However, like all opportunities, with this opportunity also comes a responsibility to make use of it. To allow this period to pass by without taking advantage of it is a crime in its own right.

However, this is itself a challenge. Most of us know that we are far from being what we should be, yet year after year goes by and many of our most basic problems remain the same. How are we really supposed to engage in meaningful change?

Self-defeating thoughts of this sort can often prevent us from even trying to make proper use of the opportunities of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, so that we end up just going through the motions, and each year we walk away feeling less worthy than the year before. That is precisely the opposite of how we are supposed to experience Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur! We find in the book of Nechemia (8:9) that, at the very beginning of the Second Temple period, when the Jews celebrated Rosh Hashana, they began to cry after hearing the Torah reading, for they felt that they were not properly fulfilling the commandments of God. (רש"י שם) Nechemia, Ezra, and the Levites then arose before the people and declared, "Do not mourn and do not cry!" Rather, the Jewish people were told (8:10), "Go, eat rich foods, and drink sweet drinks, and send portions to anyone who doesn't have; for this day is holy to our Lord; and do not be sad, for the joy of God is your strength."

Rosh Hashana is supposed to be a joyous holiday! Yes, we are certainly aware of the significance of this day, in which every creature is brought before God for judgement, nevertheless, we are expected to be happy and confident in our judgement. This would imply that properly utilizing this time, and earning a positive judgement before God, is perfectly feasible for anyone who truly wishes to do so, and that if we use this time correctly, we have no need to be afraid. Clearly, then, the fact that we tend not to feel that way indicates that there is something fundamentally askew in how we view ourselves and in how we view our obligation to repent at this time.

Perhaps the most basic error is in our own self-perception as sinful. The Sages tell us that no matter how sinful you might believe yourself to be, every person is supposed to consider himself a beinoni - a person of intermediate status:

ת"ר: לעולם יראה אדם עצמו כאילו חציו חייב וחציו זכאי, עשה מצוה אחת ־ אשריו שהכריע עצמו לכף זכות, עבר עבירה אחת ־ אוי לו שהכריע את עצמו לכף חובה.... ר' אלעזר בר' שמעון אומר: לפי שהעולם נידון אחר רובו והיחיד נידון אחר רובו, עשה מצוה אחת ־ אשריו שהכריע את עצמו ואת כל העולם לכף זכות, עבר עבירה אחת ־ אוי לו שהכריע את עצמו ואת כל העולם לכף חובה (מסכת קידושין מ.-:)

The Rabbis taught, “A person should always view himself as half guilty and half meritorious, thus, if he does one mitzvah - fortunate is he, for he has turned himself to the side of merit; if he does one sin - woe is he, for he has turned himself to the side of guilt.”

R’ Elazar ben R’ Shimon said, “Being that the world is judged after its majority, and the individual is judged after his majority, if he does one mitzvah - fortunate is he, for he turns himself and the entire world to the side of merit; if he does one sin - woe is he for he turns himself and the entire world to the side of guilt.” (Talmud, Kiddushin 40a-b)

How can we have a rule that a person should always consider himself a beinoni? What if a person knows for a fact that that he has done more sins than mitzvos?

Rav Yisrael Salanter (d.1883) answers ('אור ישראל ח) that one can never truly know whether or not he is a beinoni because only God knows how to judge the value of our actions. Maimonides writes (הל' תשובה א:א-ב) :

כל אחד ואחד מבני האדם יש לו זכיות ועונות, מי שזכיותיו יתירות על עונותיו צדיק, ומי שעונותיו יתירות על זכיותיו רשע, מחצה למחצה בינוני, וכן המדינה אם היו זכיות כל יושביה מרובות על עונותיהן הרי זו צדקת, ואם היו עונותיהם מרובין הרי זו רשעה, וכן כל העולם כולו.... ושקול זה אינו לפי מנין הזכיות והעונות אלא לפי גודלם, יש זכות שהיא כנגד כמה עונות..., ויש עון שהוא כנגד כמה זכיות..., ואין שוקלין אלא בדעתו של א-ל דעות והוא היודע היאך עורכין הזכיות כנגד העונות

Every individual has merits and sins. One whose merits exceed his sins is a tzadik (a righteous person) and one whose sins exceed his merits is a rasha (a wicked person). One who is half and half is a beinoni. The same is true for a country, if the merits of all its inhabitants exceed their sins, it is righteous, but if it is their sins that exceed, then it is wicked. And so it is for the entire world.

This assessment is not made [simply] according to the number of merits and sins, but, rather, according to their significance. A [single] merit may be equivalent to many sins… and a [single] sin may be equivalent to many merits. This assessment can only be made in the mind of the God of Knowledge, and He is the One Who Knows how to value the merits against the sins.

From this we learn that no matter what you may think of your own spiritual stature, even if you think that you are a hopelessly wicked sinner, it is perfectly possible that God considers you a beinoni. (Incidentally, if it is impossible for us to know our own spiritual status, then it is certainly impossible to assess another person’s!)

Rav Yisrael Salanter continues by pointing out that one of the main criteria for determining the significance of a merit or sin is the difficulty or sacrifice involved. As the Talmud (Avos 5:26) says, לפום צערא אגרא – “According to the pain is the reward.” The more difficult it is to do a mitzvah, the more valuable the mitzvah becomes. On the other hand, the easier it is for us to refrain from committing a sin, the more significant that sin becomes. If we fail when faced with a very difficult challenge, this is far less severe than when we sin offhandedly, without even thinking about it.

This concept, concludes Rav Yisrael Salanter, is an extraordinarily powerful one for us at the time of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Because the “weightiest” sins are precisely those sins that are not difficult for us to refrain from, a minimal effort of training ourselves to be more aware of these “little” sins can have a tremendous impact on our spiritual status when we are judged. By utilizing this simple principle we can shift ourselves dramatically in a positive direction.

It follows from this principle that our first priority in repentance should not be the big challenges that tend to loom large in our minds as overwhelming obstacles. Our first priority in repentance should be the "little" sins, the minor temptations and weaknesses that we can most easily bring under control and that we tend to simply overlook. In the eyes of Heaven, it is these "little" sins that tend to stand out the most as accusations against us. As bad as it might be, the fact that we succumb to a major temptation is, if not excusable, at least, understandable. But what excuse do we have for committing sins that are not real temptations in the first place?

Each year, if we find one or two of these "minor" temptations to work on and to improve, we will find that, as time goes by, temptations that were once overwhelming are now far less challenging, and we can honestly ask God that He grant us longer lives so that we can continue to grow stronger in Torah and mitzvos.

May we all merit to have a kesiva v'chasima tova!

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