Nitzavim - "Those Who Repent..."

Parshas Nitzavim is a direct continuation from the end of Parshas Ki Savo, which we read last week. The main theme of Ki Savo was the Tochacha, the Admonition, in which Moses describes, in very harsh and frightening terms, the terrible punishment that awaits the Jewish people, as a people and as individuals, when they fail to obey the commandments of the Torah. Parshas Ki Savo ended with Moses again assembling the Jewish people for another speech, the bulk of which is in Parshas Nitzavim.

In this speech, which is a follow-up to the Tochacha, Moses begins with a very brief review of their history so far (i.e. the Exodus from Egypt and the forty years in the desert) and then, in Parshas Nitzavim, he goes on to the discuss the eternal covenant between the Jewish people and God, and the critical concepts of galus (exile) and the ultimate geula (redemption). As understood by the commentaries, part of Moses' intent in this speech was to reassure the Jewish people that despite the apparent harshness of the Tochacha, the Jewish people would always survive and that, as long as the road may be, the inevitable end of history would be the return of the Jewish people to God and their ultimate redemption from exile.

The idea that this speech was intended partly as a reassurance to the Jewish people after the harsh words of the Tochacha is made explicitly in a midrash (cited by Rashi, 29:12). The parsha opens with Moses' declaration (Deuteronomy 29:9), "You are all standing today before Hashem your God." The midrash states:

למה נסמכה פרשת "אתם נצבים" לקללות? לפי ששמעו ישראל מאה קללות חסר שתים, חוץ מארבעה ותשע שבת"כ, הוריקו פניהם ואמרו, "מי יוכל לעמוד באלו?" התחיל משה לפייסם, "אתם נצבים היום" - הרבה הכעסתם למקום ולא עשה אתכם כלייה, והרי אתם קיימים לפניה!

Why was the parsha [that begins with] "אתם נצבים" - "You are all standing [today before Hashem your God]" placed next to the curses (of Parshas Ki Savo)?

Because, when the Jewish people heard the ninety-eight curses (of the Tochacha), asides from the forty-nine curses in Leviticus (in an earlier Tochacha passage in Parshas Bechukosai), their faces turned pale and they said, "Who can survive these [curses]?" Moses began to reassure them, "You are standing here today!" - You have angered God many times and He has not destroyed you, and behold you are still standing before Him!

Although this midrash clearly indicates that part of Moses' intent in this parsha was to reassure the Jewish people after the harsh words of the Tochacha, it itself requires explanation. At first glance, Moses seems to be saying that we don't really need to take the Tochacha that seriously, for, after all, God hasn't destroyed us yet, has He? However, it should be self-evident that this was not Moses' intent. If God tells us, repeatedly and emphatically, that our sins can lead to terrible punishment, then it would be utter folly to dismiss this as mere rhetoric. Indeed, as Jewish history has made clear all too many times, the curses of the Tochacha are very real.

Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian

In addressing this question, the great mussar teacher, Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian (d.1970) explains that it is critical to understand that the purpose of punishment is never simply as "punishment" - i.e. simply to take vengeance against the sinner for his actions. Rather, the purpose of all punishment is for the benefit of the sinner, to break through the hardness of his heart and to motivate him to repent. He cites an analogy given by the Vilna Gaon (Rabbi Eliyahu of Vilna, d.1797) to planting a field. Before a field can be planted, the field must first be plowed over, so that the hard surface of the field is broken and the field is able to accept the seeds. Similarly, the Vilna Gaon explained, before a sinner can repent, the hardness of his heart needs to be "broken" so that the seeds of repentance can take root and grow. This is the meaning of the verse in Psalms (51:19), "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."

Thus, Rabbi Lopian explains, punishment is only necessary when our hearts are hardened to our sins. If our hearts are already softened, if we already acknowledge our sins and genuinely regret them, then there is no need for actual punishment. Thus, he explains, when Moses saw that the Jewish people took the message of the Tochacha to heart, to the point that their faces turned pale, he told them that that itself was sufficient to spare them from the destruction of the Tochacha. Moses' point was that, ultimately, the punishments of the Tochacha will only befall those who fail to take it seriously. Indeed, Moses makes this point explicitly a little later in the parsha when he says (29:17-19):

Perhaps there is among you a man or woman, or a family or tribe, whose heart turns away today from Hashem our God... and when he hears the words of this curse, he blesses himself in his heart, saying: 'I shall have peace, though I walk in the stubbornness of my heart"... God will not be willing to forgive him, and then God's anger and jealousy shall be kindled against that man, and all the curse that is written in this book shall lie upon him, and God shall erase his name from under heaven.

Ultimately, the curses of the Tochacha will only befall those who have no fear of the Tochacha. However, those who take the message of the Tochacha to heart, who recognize that they have sinned and that they need to repent, have already, through that very recognition, achieved the intended purpose of the Tochacha and have no need for the actual punishments.

This principle is actually alluded to in the text of the Tochacha itself (in last week's parsha), where we read (28:47) that the suffering of the Tochacha will befall the Jewish people "because you did not serve Hashem your God with joy and a good heart." Many commentaries struggle with the meaning of this verse, which seems to imply that the reason for their punishment was that, even though they served God, they failed to do so with sufficient happiness. This raises a number of difficulties in that, not only does it seem to contradict other verses, but it also seems to be a disproportionate response. (For further discussion of this topic, see: Ki Savo - The Tochacha and Serving God with Joy.)

However, some commentaries understand the intent of the verse quite differently, as saying that the punishment of the Tochacha will befall the Jewish people when they are in a state of "joy and good heart" even while not serving God and obeying His commandments. Thus, the Beis Yitzchak explains:

Even if a person is wicked and fails to serve God at all, but he is troubled and pained by this, such a person is not fully wicked, for there is hope for him that he will repent and return to God. However, one who is so wicked that he feels no concern at all about his wickedness, but is perfectly happy with his sinful behavior, there is no hope that such a person will come to repent [on his own initiative].

The punishments of the Tochacha are intended as a wake-up call for those who are so immersed in sin that they no longer even feel bad about it. On the contrary, they are perfectly happy with their behavior and see no reason to change. It is for such people that the punishments of the Tochacha are necessary to soften their hardened hearts and awaken them to teshuva (repentance).

This principle is used by Rabbi Yisrael Salanter (d.1883) to explain an enigmatic Talmudic passage (Nidda 70b) which discusses an apparent contradiction between two Biblical verses. In chapter 18 of the book of Ezekiel, the prophet describes the great power of repentance and concludes (18:32), "For I do not desire the death of he that [should] die [for his sins], says the Lord, Hashem; [rather] repent and live!" This verse clearly states that God does not desire the death of the sinner. 

Yet, in the book of I Samuel (2:25) we find, in the case of the sinful sons of Eli, that the verse states, "that God desired to kill them." So we find that, at least in some cases, God does desire the death of the sinner!

The Talmud resolves the apparent conflict with the brief statement, "Here [in Ezekiel] it speaks of those who repent and here [in Samuel] it speaks of those who do not repent." The problem, of course, is that the verse in Ezekiel is explicitly speaking of a person who has not repented!

Rabbi Yisrael Salanter (אור ישראל ל', וראה גם ספר חכמה ומוסר ב:רמד) explains that in this context, "those who repent" does not refer to those who engage in full fledged repentance for their sins, but merely to those who are troubled and pained by their sins, for such a person is already on the path of repentance. In regard to such a sinner, even if he has not yet repented, God says that He does not desire his death. However, with regard to a sinner who is entirely untroubled by his sins, and of whom there can be no expectation of repentance, of such a sinner we are taught that God desires his death.

This principle is particularly important at this time of year, as we approach the Day of Judgment on Rosh Hashana and we turn to God and ask Him to grant us a new year of life and happiness. As we stand before God in judgment for our sins, we recognize that, when all is said and done, we are very far from being able to genuinely repent from all of our sinful behaviors. How then can we stand before God and ask Him to forgive us, if we know that we will continue to do many of the same sins next year as well?

Of course, part of the answer is that we have to find some area - even if very small - in which we really do improve ourselves. But what about everything else? Is God simply going to ignore it all?

From what we have just learned, however, we can see that if we truly feel bad about our sins, even if we are not yet capable of changing for the better, then God will, to some degree, temporarily overlook those sins and give us time to grow and eventually reach the point where we will be able to truly repent.

It follows from this that one of our main tasks at this time of year, from the beginning of the month of Elul until the closing prayer of Yom Kippur, is to work on an honest assessment of our weaknesses, to acknowledge that we need to improve, and to genuinely desire to do so. If we accomplish this, even if it only manifests itself in what, superficially, seems to be only a minor improvement, then we can truly turn to God with confidence that He will grant us a good and sweet new year.

May we all merit to have a kesiva v'chasima tova!

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Ki Sisa - The Sin of the Golden Calf and its Lessons

The story of the sin of the golden calf is one of the most difficult passages in the Torah. On one hand, it was clearly a grave sin. On the other hand, we need to remember that this was the same holy nation that had just experienced the Exodus from Egypt and the Sinai Revelation. It is simply unreasonable to think that it was a simple sin of idolatry. The following brief summary of this tragic episode will incorporate various commentaries to help us understand what actually happened.

Moses had ascended Mt. Sinai on the seventh of Sivan. (The Sages tell us that Moses had announced that he would remain on the mountain for forty days. The Jewish people incorrectly assumed that the day Moses ascended counted as the first of the forty days, when, in fact, the count did not begin until the next day.) When forty days had passed from Moses' ascent, and he had still not descended from the mountain, the people began to fear that Moses had passed away.

Believing that they had lost their leader, the people approached Aaron with the demand that he manufacture gods to replace Moses. (Rashi states that this request was made by the Eirev Rav, a group of Egyptians that had joined the Jewish people when they left Egypt.) This was not idolatry in the usual sense, for the golden calf was not intended as a substitute for God, but for Moses. Nevertheless, it was a violation against the prohibition against making forms and the fact that they felt that such a replacement was necessary also indicated that they did yet not properly understand the nature of God's relationship with mankind.

In an attempt to delay the people until Moses' arrival, Aaron told them to gather the golden jewelry from their wives and children, thinking that this would slow the collection. However, the gold was collected very rapidly and was brought before Aaron. Aaron then melted the gold and a golden calf was formed. (For further discussion of Aaron's role in the incident of the gold calf, see "The Sin of Aaron".) They then declared, “This is your god, Israel, who took you up from the land of Egypt.” (Rashi states that the Eirev Rav said this, which is why they said “your god” instead of “our god”.)

At first glance, this declaration seems to be utterly senseless. The Jewish people (and the Eirev Rav) were fully aware of Who had taken them out of Egypt, and they certainly knew that this golden calf, which had not even been made at the time, had not done so. Thus, it is clear that the golden calf was not intended as a substitute for God but as an intermediary or representative of God, much in the way that they had understood Moses to be.

When this occurred, Aaron again attempted to delay the Jewish people from sinning by declaring that a festival for God would be made the next day. Aaron hoped that Moses would arrive before the people actually sinned. However, the next morning people got up very early to begin making sacrifices and rejoicing.

On the mountain, God told Moses to descend for the people had sinned and He would destroy them. Moses prayed to God on behalf of the Jewish people, and God accepted his prayer and He relented from His anger.

Moses then descended the mountain carrying the two Tablets of Testimony. When he came close to the camp and saw the calf and the rejoicing, he cast down the Tablets and shattered them. (This occurred on the 17^th of Tammuz.)

Moses took the calf and ground it into powder. He mixed the powder with water and made the people drink it. He declared, "Whoever is for God, to me!" The entire tribe of Levi joined him and they went forth with the sword and killed 3,000 men. Moses then returned to pray to God to forgive the Jewish people. God then struck the people with a plague.

(Rashi states that there were three levels of guilt among the people. There were those who had sinned with witnesses and hasraah^[1], those who had sinned with witnesses but no hasraah, and those who sinned without witnesses. The first group was killed by the sword, the second by the plague, and the third died from the water like a sotah (Numbers 5:11-31). It should be noted that only 3,000 Jews had committed the crime in the full sense. This is only about one half of a percent of the adult male population. The overwhelming majority of the Jewish people avoided involvement with the calf worshipers.)

The Torah then discusses at length the process of reconciliation between God and the Jewish people as mediated by Moses. Eventually God instructed Moses to carve two new Tablets to replace the ones that had been shattered. He was to ascend the mountain again and God would inscribe these new Tablets. At this time, God revealed to Moses the י"ג מדות של רחמים – “The Thirteen Attributes of Mercy” – that the Jewish people could rely upon to earn forgiveness for their sins when they repented.

After this the eternal covenant between God and the Jewish people is repeated and emphasized. When Moses descended the mountain with the second Tablets his face had become radiant from holiness.

The Lessons

R' Samson Raphael Hirsch

There are many important lessons we learn from the incident of the golden calf. Among these lessons is the importance of recognizing the centrality of having a proper conception of our relationship with God and that we may make no compromises with God's law. As R' Samson Raphael Hirsch writes (on Exodus 32:6):

So, at the very time that the Divine Law of Morality was to have found a home and Sanctuary on earth in the midst of the Jewish people, they experienced the fact, for themselves and for all future time, that the slightest aberration from the idea of acknowledging God as the One and Only One, brings in its train the heathen cult in every form, inevitably denying His Law of Morality.

And the one who was designed to be the first High Priest of the Jewish people experienced for himself, and for all future time, that Jewish priests may not try to be "clever", that God's Truth's are not his own, with which, and for which he may make concessions, of which he may give up a part to save the rest. The Divine Evidence is inscribed on granite. One can acknowledge it, one can deny it, but no priest can alter the tiniest bit of it.

Another profoundly important lesson that we learn from the incident of the golden calf is the power of repentance. The Talmud (Avodah Zara 4b) makes a surprising statement:

א"ר יהושע בן לוי: לא עשו ישראל את העגל אלא ליתן פתחון פה לבעלי תשובה, שנאמר: מי יתן והיה לבבם זה להם ליראה אותי כל הימים וגו'.

Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi said, “The [sin of] the Jewish people with the [Golden] Calf happened only to provide an opening for baalei teshuva (penitents), for it says, ‘If only their heart would always be like this, to fear me…’” (Deuteronomy 5:26)

Rashi explains:

גבורים ושליטים ביצרם היו ולא היו ראוי להתגבר יצרם עליהן אלא גזירת מלך היתה לשלוט בם כדי ליתן פתחון פה לבעלי תשובה שאם יאמר החוטא לא אשוב שלא יקבלני אומרים לו צא ולמד ממעשה העגל שכפרו ונתקבלו בתשובה.

They [i.e. the Jews at the time of the incident of the golden calf] were mighty and had complete control over their yetzer (natural inclinations) and their yetzer should not have been able to overpower them. However, it was the decree of the King that it overpower them in order to provide an opening for baalei teshuva. For if a sinner says, “I will not repent for He will not accept me,” they say to him, “Go and learn from the incident of the Calf, for [the Jews] committed heresy and they were accepted back through repentance!”

As understood by Rashi, the Talmud appears to be saying that the Jewish people in the desert were on such a high spiritual level that they never would have committed such a sin. Instead, God caused the sin to happen in order to provide encouragement to sinners from later generations. Many commentaries struggle with this idea. If the Jewish people were forced to sin, then they didn't actually sin at all and their repentance was actually unnecessary! How then, would this provide encouragement for a normal sinner?

The Akeidas Yitzchak (R' Yitzchak Arama, d.1494), therefore, disagrees with Rashi’s explanation. He writes that the Talmud’s message here is that, even though the Jews of the midbar were on the highest possible spiritual level that a nation can possibly reach, they still sinned! We see from this that human perfection does not mean that you never do anything wrong, for human beings will inevitably stumble and sin on occasions. Rather, true human perfection is that, when you do inevitably sin, you truly repent.

Rav Dessler

This insight from the Akeidas Yitzchak is profoundly important, but it leaves us with the difficulty of how to understand Rashi's approach. Rav Eliyahu Dessler (Michtav M’Eliyahu 1:165) explains that sometimes a righteous person will have a flawed trait buried so deeply in his character that even he himself is not aware of it. In order for the righteous person to fix this hidden flaw, God will temporarily withdraw the help He normally provides us to aid us in our struggle with sin. This allows the hidden flaw to surface in the form of an obvious sin. Once the sin is exposed, the righteous person can now work to rectify the hidden flaw that led to the sin. This is what happened to the Jewish people. Thus, in the final analysis, the sin of the golden calf was committed willingly, and the acceptance of their teshuva provides hope for all generations of baalei teshuva.

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[1] In order to be liable for a criminal penalty in a Jewish court, Jewish law requires that the criminal be formally warned in front of witnesses of the criminal nature of his actions and the relevant legal penalty immediately prior to the commission of the crime. This warning is called hasraah.

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Va'eira - The Hardening of Pharaoh's Heart

In Parshas Va'eira we read of the first seven of the ten plagues that God inflicted upon the Egyptians. Before the plagues, God instructed Moses to go and speak to Pharaoh, demanding that he allow the Jewish people to go free. In the course of these instructions, God tells Moses (Exodus 7:3), "ואני אקשה את לב פרעה" - "And I shall harden Pharaoh's heart" - and that Pharaoh would not listen to his pleas and God would perform many "signs and wonders" and would take the Jewish people out of Egypt "with an outstretched hand". And indeed, we find that after the sixth, eighth, ninth, and tenth plagues that "God strengthened the heart of Pharaoh", ultimately culminating in the destruction of the Egyptian army in the Red Sea.

Many commentators discuss how we are to understand the concept of God "hardening" Pharaoh's heart. if God hardened Pharaoh's heart, then how could he be held responsible for his actions? Moreover, one of the most basic principles of Judaism is the concept of free-will. Yet these passages imply that free-will is not guaranteed, and that it is possible that a person could lose his free-will.

Maimonides
Traditional Depiction

Indeed, Maimonides explains that it is possible for a truly wicked person to be punished with the loss of his free will, making it impossible for him to repent for his evil deeds. He writes (Hil. Teshuva 6:3):

It is possible that a person would commit so great a sin, or so many sins, to the point that justice demands from the True Judge that the punishment appropriate for the willful sins of this sinner is that teshuva (repentance) should be withheld from him and he should lose the ability to turn from his evil, so that he will die and be lost in the sins he has committed. ...

Therefore it says in the Torah (Exodus 14:4), "I shall strengthen the heart of Pharaoh," for Pharaoh had sinned on his own volition and was wicked towards the people of Israel that dwelt in his land.... Justice required that teshuva be withheld from him until he had been punished. God therefore hardened his heart. 

In his commentary on this verse, the Ramban also addresses this issue and provides two answers. The first answer is identical with the approach of Maimonides. In his second answer, however, the Ramban argues that the "hardening" of Pharaoh's heart does not refer to a loss of free-will, but the opposite, that God gave Pharaoh the strength of will to be able to defy God despite the incredible pressure brought about by the plagues. At no point did Pharaoh actually desire to let the Jewish people go. It was only that, after all of these plagues, he simply did not have to strength to continue fighting. Thus God strengthened the will of Pharaoh, leaving him free to make the choice that he wished to make.

This approach is also taken by the Seforno (commentary on Torah by R' Ovadia Seforno, d.1550) and the Sefer HaIkkarim (philosophical work by R' Joseph Albo, d.1444) and appears to be the dominant approach taken by most later commentators as well. Among these later commentators is the famous Dubno Maggid, R' Yakov Kranz (d.1804), in his commentary (Kochav L'Yakov on the haftara of Lech Lecha) on the verse (Isaiah 40:29), "He gives strength to the weary, and for the powerless He gives abundant might." The Dubno Maggid cites the famous medrash about Joseph in the house of Potiphar, that states that Joseph was on the verge of succumbing to the seductive ploys of his master's wife, when God sent him a vision of his father, Jacob. This vision inspired Joseph to absolutely reject the sinful advances of Potiphar's wife. The Dubno Maggid asks why the Sages revealed this fact, which would appear to reflect so poorly on Joseph, as he was on the verge of committing such a severe sin and was only prevented from doing so by a Divine vision? Moreover, doesn't this diminish the free-will of Joseph? (Indeed, the Sages view Joseph's resistance to Potiphar's wife as one his greatest acts of righteousness - "for he sanctified the Name of God in secret" (Sotah 10b). Yet how many people would commit a sin immediately after receiving a prophetic vision?)

The Dubno Maggid therefore explains that the reality was that Joseph had absolutely no desire to sin and had resisted Potiphar's wife with all his strength. But ultimately, the pressure of her campaign had simply become too much for him. He simply did not have the strength to fight any longer (which, if we imagine his circumstances, as a young slave in a foreign land with no moral support of any kind, is not surprising). He was on the verge of succumbing to sin, not because of desire, but because he had reached the limits of his strength to fight. At this point, God gave him renewed strength by sending him a vision. This is the idea expressed in the verse that God "gives strength to the weary," which, the Dubno Maggid explains, is fundamentally the same thing that happened with Pharaoh. In both cases, God gave them the renewed strength of will to resist what would otherwise have been overwhelming pressure. The difference between the two is only that in the case of Joseph his true desire was to do what was right, and in the case of Pharaoh his true desire was to do evil.

These two approaches may be reflected in the debate between the Sages, R' Yochanan and R' Shimon Lakish, in the medrash (Shemos Raba 13:3, cited in the Ramban):

"For I have hardened his heart." (Exodus 10:1) - R' Yochanan said, "This gives an opening for heretics to claim that he had no opportunity to repent!" R' Shimon ben Lakish said to him, "May the mouths of the heretics be sealed! Rather, [the true understanding is] "He mocks the mockers" (Proverbs 3:34) - He warns him once, twice, and a third time, and he [still] does not repent, and He closes his heart to repentance in order to punish him for his sin. So it was with the wicked Pharaoh. Once God had communicated with him five times (i.e. the first five plagues) and he paid no heed, God said to him, 'You have stiffened your neck and hardened your heart, behold, I shall add impurity upon your impurity!"

The Yefeh To'ar (commentary on Midrash Raba by R' Shmuel Yafa Ashkenazi, 16th century) argues that R' Yochanan follows the second approach that we have described, that Pharaoh did not lose his free will. Thus he says that a simple reading of the verse would seem to support to the claims of the heretics that Pharaoh had no free-will and therefore did not deserve to be punished. R' Shimon ben Lakish, however, following the approach of Maimonides, says that Pharaoh did indeed lose his free will, but that the arguments of the heretics are nevertheless baseless, for this was his punishment for his extreme wickedness.

R' Elya Lopian

Whether we follow the interpretation of the Yefeh To'ar or not, it would seem clear that R' Shimon ben Lakish is the following the approach of Maimonides, that Pharaoh did indeed lose his ability to repent for his sins. However, in Lev Eliyahu (vol.2, p.49), R' Elya Lopian (d.1970) argues - emphatically - that teshuva is always possible, stating:

Know and remember this: That one who says, "I am unable to break my desire and stand up against my nature," this is heresy. As we see in the debate between R' Yochanan and R'Shimon ben Lakish... that both agree that this is what is said by heretics.

(Thus, in a lengthy note on the Lev Eliyahu (p.49-51), R' Sholom Schwadron (d.1997) argues (based upon a later passage in Hil. Teshuva) that even according to Maimonides, it is possible for a person to regain his ability to repent through prayer.)

Instead, R' Elya Lopian (p.44) understands the opinion of R' Shimon ben Lakish to mean not that God takes away the sinner's ability to repent, but rather that God ceases to reach out to the sinner to motivate him to repent.

This idea is also found in the Kedushas Levi (R' Levi Yitzchak of Berdichev, d.1809). The Kedushas Levi (Deuteronomy 28:1) states that the Sages tell us that there is a Heavenly voice that calls out every day, "Return, O wayward sons!" (Jeremiah 3:22). This Heavenly voice is heard, on a spiritual level, by every Jew, and it serves to arouse his soul to repentance. However, the Sages tell us of certain Sage, R' Elisha ben Avuya, who became a heretic and became known as Acher. On a few instances, when asked why he did not repent from his sins, he responded that he had heard a Heavenly voice call out, "Return, O wayward sons! - Except for Acher!" (Chagiga 15a)

The Kedushas Levi explains that Acher did not lose the ability to repent, and if he had repented, his repentance would have been accepted. What Acher had lost was the daily Divine inspiration towards repentance that is the normal state for every Jew. Acher's sins were so great that the Heavenly voice no longer functioned to arouse his soul to repentance. For Acher, without that Divine inspiration, repentance would be far more difficult than for an ordinary Jew, but it remained within his power to do.

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Forgiveness for Inter-Personal Sins

Jewish law requires us to ask forgiveness from anyone whom we may have harmed, whether the harm was physical, financial, emotional, or social. We are also required to be gracious in granting forgiveness. The Talmud (Bava Kamma 8:7) states, "From where do we know that it is cruel to not forgive? For it says, "Abraham prayed to God and God healed Abimelech..." (Genesis 20:17).

Maimonides writes (Hil. Teshuvah 2:9-10):

Repentance and Yom Kippur only atone for sins between Man and God such as eating forbidden foods or engaging in forbidden sexual relations. Sins between one man and his fellow, such as striking, cursing, or stealing are never forgiven until one pays up his debt and appeases his fellow. Even if he returns the money he owes he must still ask for forgiveness. Even if he only spoke badly about him, he must appease and beseech until he is forgiven. If his fellow refuses to forgive him then he must bring a group of three of his fellows and go to him and ask him [for forgiveness]. If he still does not forgive him he must go to him a second and third time (with a different group of three people). If he still refuses to forgive him he may cease and the other is the sinner. If [however, the injured party] is his teacher (rebbe) he must go to him even a thousand times until he is forgiven.

It is forbidden to be cruel and difficult to appease, rather, a person must be quick to forgive and difficult to anger and when the sinner asks for forgiveness he should forgive him willingly and wholeheartedly....

In Shulchan Aruch (R' Yosef Karo, d.1575) in the laws of Yom Kippur (Orech Chaim 606:1) we find essentially the same thing. The Rema (R' Moshe Isserles, d.1572) adds that one may withhold forgiveness if it is for the benefit of the person asking. The Mishna Berurah (R' Yisrael Meir Kagan, d.1933) explains that it may be appropriate to withhold forgiveness to teach the supplicant not to take it lightly. The Rema also permits withholding forgiveness when someone spread false rumors about you, however the Mishna Berurah says that in such a case one should still forgive.

In the prayer titled Tefilah Zaka which many people recite before Kol Nidrei on the eve of Yom Kippur it says:

I extend complete forgiveness to everyone who has sinned against me, whether physically or monetarily, or spoke lashon hara (negative speech) about me or even false reports. And (I also forgive them) for any damages, whether on my body or my property, and for all sins between a man and his fellow except for money which I can claim in a court of law and except for someone who sins against me saying, "I will sin against him and he will forgive me". Except for these I grant complete forgiveness and no person should be punished on my account. And just as I forgive everyone so should You grant me favor in the eyes of all men that they should completely forgive me.

The complete prayer is printed in many machzorim (holiday prayer books).

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Using the Opportunity of Rosh Hashana

אמר רבי כרוספדאי אמר רבי יוחנן: שלשה ספרים נפתחין בראש השנה, אחד של רשעים גמורין, ואחד של צדיקים גמורין, ואחד של בינוניים. צדיקים גמורין ־ נכתבין ונחתמין לאלתר לחיים, רשעים גמורין ־ נכתבין ונחתמין לאלתר למיתה, בינוניים ־ תלויין ועומדין מראש השנה ועד יום הכפורים. זכו ־ נכתבין לחיים, לא זכו ־ נכתבין למיתה. (מסכת ראש השנה טז:)

Rabbi Kruspedai said, Rabbi Yochanan said, “Three books are open on Rosh Hashana, one for the completely wicked, one for the completely righteous, and one of beinonim (intermediates). The completely righteous are written and sealed immediately for life, the completely wicked are written and sealed immediately for death, and the beinonim are suspended and waiting from Rosh Hashana until Yom Kippur. If they merit, they are written for life; if they do not merit, they are written for death. (Talmud, Rosh Hashana 16b)

The Talmud tells us that the final judgment for the intermediates - the beinonim - is not made until Yom Kippur. If, at that point, they have “merited” - through repentance for their sins - then they will be written for life. Otherwise, they will be written for death. However, this seems to indicate that if a beinoni does nothing at all, he will be written for death. Why should this be so? If he has done nothing at all, then he is still a beinoni!

The Abudarham (14th century commentary on the Siddur written by R' Dovid Abudarham) answers that the failure of the beinoni to use this opportunity to repent for his sins is itself a sin and puts the beinoni into the category of the guilty.

This brings out an extraordinarily important point. The period of the Aseres Yemei Teshuva (Ten Days of Repentance), which begins with Rosh Hashana and ends with Yom Kippur, is an extraordinary opportunity for us to rectify our sins through repentance and regain a proper relationship with God. However, like all opportunities, with this opportunity also comes a responsibility to make use of it. To allow this period to pass by without taking advantage of it is a crime in its own right.

However, this is itself a challenge. Most of us know that we are far from being what we should be, yet year after year goes by and many of our most basic problems remain the same. How are we really supposed to engage in meaningful change?

Self-defeating thoughts of this sort can often prevent us from even trying to make proper use of the opportunities of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, so that we end up just going through the motions, and each year we walk away feeling less worthy than the year before. That is precisely the opposite of how we are supposed to experience Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur! We find in the book of Nechemia (8:9) that, at the very beginning of the Second Temple period, when the Jews celebrated Rosh Hashana, they began to cry after hearing the Torah reading, for they felt that they were not properly fulfilling the commandments of God. (רש"י שם) Nechemia, Ezra, and the Levites then arose before the people and declared, "Do not mourn and do not cry!" Rather, the Jewish people were told (8:10), "Go, eat rich foods, and drink sweet drinks, and send portions to anyone who doesn't have; for this day is holy to our Lord; and do not be sad, for the joy of God is your strength."

Rosh Hashana is supposed to be a joyous holiday! Yes, we are certainly aware of the significance of this day, in which every creature is brought before God for judgement, nevertheless, we are expected to be happy and confident in our judgement. This would imply that properly utilizing this time, and earning a positive judgement before God, is perfectly feasible for anyone who truly wishes to do so, and that if we use this time correctly, we have no need to be afraid. Clearly, then, the fact that we tend not to feel that way indicates that there is something fundamentally askew in how we view ourselves and in how we view our obligation to repent at this time.

Perhaps the most basic error is in our own self-perception as sinful. The Sages tell us that no matter how sinful you might believe yourself to be, every person is supposed to consider himself a beinoni - a person of intermediate status:

ת"ר: לעולם יראה אדם עצמו כאילו חציו חייב וחציו זכאי, עשה מצוה אחת ־ אשריו שהכריע עצמו לכף זכות, עבר עבירה אחת ־ אוי לו שהכריע את עצמו לכף חובה.... ר' אלעזר בר' שמעון אומר: לפי שהעולם נידון אחר רובו והיחיד נידון אחר רובו, עשה מצוה אחת ־ אשריו שהכריע את עצמו ואת כל העולם לכף זכות, עבר עבירה אחת ־ אוי לו שהכריע את עצמו ואת כל העולם לכף חובה (מסכת קידושין מ.-:)

The Rabbis taught, “A person should always view himself as half guilty and half meritorious, thus, if he does one mitzvah - fortunate is he, for he has turned himself to the side of merit; if he does one sin - woe is he, for he has turned himself to the side of guilt.”

R’ Elazar ben R’ Shimon said, “Being that the world is judged after its majority, and the individual is judged after his majority, if he does one mitzvah - fortunate is he, for he turns himself and the entire world to the side of merit; if he does one sin - woe is he for he turns himself and the entire world to the side of guilt.” (Talmud, Kiddushin 40a-b)

How can we have a rule that a person should always consider himself a beinoni? What if a person knows for a fact that that he has done more sins than mitzvos?

Rav Yisrael Salanter (d.1883) answers ('אור ישראל ח) that one can never truly know whether or not he is a beinoni because only God knows how to judge the value of our actions. Maimonides writes (הל' תשובה א:א-ב) :

כל אחד ואחד מבני האדם יש לו זכיות ועונות, מי שזכיותיו יתירות על עונותיו צדיק, ומי שעונותיו יתירות על זכיותיו רשע, מחצה למחצה בינוני, וכן המדינה אם היו זכיות כל יושביה מרובות על עונותיהן הרי זו צדקת, ואם היו עונותיהם מרובין הרי זו רשעה, וכן כל העולם כולו.... ושקול זה אינו לפי מנין הזכיות והעונות אלא לפי גודלם, יש זכות שהיא כנגד כמה עונות..., ויש עון שהוא כנגד כמה זכיות..., ואין שוקלין אלא בדעתו של א-ל דעות והוא היודע היאך עורכין הזכיות כנגד העונות

Every individual has merits and sins. One whose merits exceed his sins is a tzadik (a righteous person) and one whose sins exceed his merits is a rasha (a wicked person). One who is half and half is a beinoni. The same is true for a country, if the merits of all its inhabitants exceed their sins, it is righteous, but if it is their sins that exceed, then it is wicked. And so it is for the entire world.

This assessment is not made [simply] according to the number of merits and sins, but, rather, according to their significance. A [single] merit may be equivalent to many sins… and a [single] sin may be equivalent to many merits. This assessment can only be made in the mind of the God of Knowledge, and He is the One Who Knows how to value the merits against the sins.

From this we learn that no matter what you may think of your own spiritual stature, even if you think that you are a hopelessly wicked sinner, it is perfectly possible that God considers you a beinoni. (Incidentally, if it is impossible for us to know our own spiritual status, then it is certainly impossible to assess another person’s!)

Rav Yisrael Salanter continues by pointing out that one of the main criteria for determining the significance of a merit or sin is the difficulty or sacrifice involved. As the Talmud (Avos 5:26) says, לפום צערא אגרא – “According to the pain is the reward.” The more difficult it is to do a mitzvah, the more valuable the mitzvah becomes. On the other hand, the easier it is for us to refrain from committing a sin, the more significant that sin becomes. If we fail when faced with a very difficult challenge, this is far less severe than when we sin offhandedly, without even thinking about it.

This concept, concludes Rav Yisrael Salanter, is an extraordinarily powerful one for us at the time of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Because the “weightiest” sins are precisely those sins that are not difficult for us to refrain from, a minimal effort of training ourselves to be more aware of these “little” sins can have a tremendous impact on our spiritual status when we are judged. By utilizing this simple principle we can shift ourselves dramatically in a positive direction.

It follows from this principle that our first priority in repentance should not be the big challenges that tend to loom large in our minds as overwhelming obstacles. Our first priority in repentance should be the "little" sins, the minor temptations and weaknesses that we can most easily bring under control and that we tend to simply overlook. In the eyes of Heaven, it is these "little" sins that tend to stand out the most as accusations against us. As bad as it might be, the fact that we succumb to a major temptation is, if not excusable, at least, understandable. But what excuse do we have for committing sins that are not real temptations in the first place?

Each year, if we find one or two of these "minor" temptations to work on and to improve, we will find that, as time goes by, temptations that were once overwhelming are now far less challenging, and we can honestly ask God that He grant us longer lives so that we can continue to grow stronger in Torah and mitzvos.

May we all merit to have a kesiva v'chasima tova!

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The Thirteen Attributes of Mercy - The 13 Middos Shel Rachamim

One of the main features of the prayers of the High Holy Days is the recitation of the י"ג מדות של רחמים – the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy. These play a particularly prominent role in the daily Selichos recited at this time and in the Yom Kippur prayers. The Thirteen Attributes of Mercy were first revealed to Moses by God in the aftermath of the sin of the golden calf, when God forgave the Jewish people. (Exodus 34:6-7) The Talmud (Rosh Hashana 17b) tells us that God established a covenant that the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy never go unanswered and that God instructed Moses, “Whenever the Jewish people sin, let them perform this ‘order’ and their sins will be forgiven.”

There are, unsurprisingly, a vast number of commentaries on the exact meaning of these Thirteen Attributes and there is even some dispute about exactly how the words in these two verses should be divided into thirteen. For the ordinary person who wishes to recite the Thirteen Attributes with proper kavanah (intent), however, there is a need for a basic, straightforward, interpretation of the attributes that one can actually have in mind during prayer.

Moreover, as should be obvious, the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy are not a magical incantation of forgiveness. The Reishis Chochma (R’ Eliyahu di Vidas d.1592) writes (שער הענוה פרק א') that the Gaonim point out that the Talmud does not say that the Jewish people should “recite this order” for their sins to be forgiven, but that they should “perform this order.” This means that we must emulate these middos (attributes) in our own lives, and through this we will gain forgiveness. It is therefore important that when we recite these attributes, we have a clear idea of what they mean, not only as descriptions of God’s mercy, but also as practical guides for our own behavior.

The following is an highly condensed explanation of the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy that I compiled several years ago for my students (based on a wide variety of sources). After each attribute I am including, in parentheses, some additional commentary and notes on how we can apply this middah in practical terms. 

1. ה' – “Hashem” – God is merciful before we sin. (Even though He knows that we will sin, He is still merciful. So too, we should be kind and considerate to others, even if we don’t think they will appreciate it or reciprocate.)
   
   
2. ה' – “Hashem” – He is merciful after we sin when we repent. (If someone hurt us and sincerely wishes to make amends, we should forgive them wholeheartedly.)
   
   
3. א-ל – “God” – His power saves us from our sins after we repent. (If someone sincerely wishes to make amends for hurting us, then we should share the burden of reparation with them.)
   
   
4. רחום – “Merciful” – His mercy is active even before we repent. (If someone hurt us, we should not respond with anger and rejection, but with love and kindness, showing that way to forgiveness is still open.)
   
   
5. וחנון – “And Gracious” – He is kind to us even when we have not earned it.
   
   
6. ארך אפים – “Slow to Anger” – He waits patiently for us to repent. (Instead of punishing us immediately for our sins, as would be justified, God gives us time to repent on our own and avoid punishment. So too, if someone wrongs us, we should give the person time to make amends.)
   
   
7. ורב חסד – “And Abundant in Kindness” – He is biased to judge us favorably. (Whenever there is room for “doubt”, God’s kindness inclines Him to judge us favorably. Similarly, whenever there is room for doubt, we should judge others favorably.)
   
   
8. ואמת: – “And Truth” – He keeps His promises of good even if we are not deserving. (If we promised to do a good thing for another person, we should keep our word even if the person no longer deserves it.)
   
   
9. נצר חסד לאלפים – “He Keeps Kindness for Thousands [of generations]” – He rewards the righteous for two thousand generations. (If we owe a debt of gratitude to someone, we should continue to express that gratitude even to that person’s descendants.)
   
   
10. נשא עון – “He Lifts Up Sin” – When we repent, God “lifts up” our sins [of temptation]…
    
    
11. ופשע – “And Rebellion” – And our sins of rebellion…
    
    
12. וחטאה – “And Error” – And our unintentional sins, and transforms them into merits. (When a person sincerely wishes to make amends for hurting us, we should use this as an opportunity to develop an even closer friendship with the person.)
    
    
13. ונקה – “And He cleans” – Even when we need to be punished (i.e. cleansed) for our sins, He does so gradually, rather than overwhelmingly at once. (Even with repentance, the spiritual damage caused by the more severe sins may still require suffering to fully rectified. Even so, if the total punishment would be beyond our capacity to handle at once, then God spreads it out over time. So too, even in those cases where we must demand that someone make reparations for the harm that they have caused us, we should still be merciful and not demand that they do so in a way that is too difficult for them to handle.)

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Elul – The Lion Roars

“The lion roars! Who is not afraid?” – Amos 3:8

The commentaries (של"ה הקדוש, מס' ר"ה, נר מצוה בשם הקדמונים) tell us that the word אריה - lion – is an acronym for אלול - Elul, ראש השנה - Rosh HaShana, יום כיפור - Yom Kippur, and הושענה רבה - Hoshana Raba. This period of time, beginning with the month of Elul until Hoshana Raba, the seventh day of the festival of Succos, is a time for introspection and repentance. During this time, Jewish tradition teaches, the gates of teshuva – return – are opened.

The Chayei Adam (Rabbi Avraham Danzig, d.1820) writes (138:1):

Out of the love of the Holy One, blessed be He, towards His people Israel, He has done abundant good for us, and He has commanded us to return to Him anytime we have sinned. And, while teshuva is beneficial at all times, nevertheless, the month of Elul is particularly chosen and prepared beyond the other days of the year for the acceptance of teshuva.

For these days have been days of favor from the moment that we were chosen to be a nation. For after Israel sinned with the golden calf and the Tablets were broken on the seventeenth of Tamuz, Moses went up on the mountain and prayed, and the Holy One, blessed be He, said to him (Exodus 34:1), “Carve for yourself [two stone tablets like the first ones]”, and He found favor to give him a second set of tablets.

Moses then went [back] up on the first of Elul and remained there [for forty days] until Yom Kippur, which is the completion of the atonement. And it states in [the midrash] Tana D’Vei Eliyahu:

“For all these days the people of Israel engaged in fasting, and on the final day – the tenth of Tishrei – they decreed a fast day and they fasted overnight. Therefore, this day – which is Yom Kippur – was established for eternity for atonement.”

And because these [forty] days [from the beginning of Elul until Yom Kippur] were days of favor at that time, therefore every year mercy is again aroused above [during this time] and they are days of favor.

Elul is a time of great opportunity. However, like every true opportunity, it is also a great responsibility. For if God has granted us the opportunity to change and improve and we do not make use of that opportunity, then we effectively compound our guilt.

In previous generations the significance of Elul was better appreciated. The story is told of the marketplace of Kelm, Lithuania – the little town that was home to the famous Talmud Torah of Kelm – where a Gentile was attempting to bargain with a Jewish merchant, and he wasn’t getting anywhere. Finally, another Gentile approached him and asked him why he was trying to bargain. "What?" responded the bargainer, "Of course, I’m trying to bargain! Everyone knows that the initial asking price is always just a bluff!" To which the second Gentile responded, "Don’t you know? It's Elul! The Jews don't bluff during Elul!”

As we enter into this period, and approach the days of judgment on Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, it behooves us to think over the past year and the events that have taken place and to remind ourselves that happened in the past year was decreed in the previous Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur.

I heard many times from my rebbe, Rabbi Yitzchok Knobel שליט"א, that it is very easy for us to get discouraged about truly changing our behavior at this time of year. After all, every year we go through the motions and afterwards we quickly revert to our prior behavior. He used to advise us to choose one concrete act, even if it was fairly minor, to improve and to make a solid commitment in that one area. God doesn't expect us to change overnight, He only wants us to make progress, and if we can show concrete progress we have a far better chance of a positive decision on these days of judgment.

So, let us look over our lives. Let us pick something – one thing – that we can truly commit to change, even if only for a specified period of time. Let it be a decision to recite a daily prayer, to attend a Torah class or to study Torah with a partner, to help another person, to speak gently to our spouse, or any similar positive act.

And may God grant us a sweet new year!

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From Av to Elul – From Tragedy to Repentance

We are currently in the Jewish month of Av, the month devoted to mourning the destruction of the Holy Temples in Jerusalem – which culminates in the fast of Tisha B’Av – and to our faith that God will eventually comfort us – as expressed in the seven haftaros read each Shabbos between Tisha B’Av and Rosh HaShana. The month of Av is followed by Elul, the month devoted to teshuva (repentance) in preparation for Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur.

What is the meaning of this sudden shift from the month of tragedy and mourning to the month of penitence and rapprochement between Man and God? To understand this we need to gain a deeper insight into the basic message of Av.

The Midrash (Eicha Raba 1:1) states:

Three [prophets] prophesied using the term “eicha”: Moses, Isaiah, and Jeremiah. Moses said, “How (Eicha) can I bear this people alone…” (Deut. 1:12). Isaiah said, “How (Eicha) has the faithful city become a harlot…” (Isaiah 1:21). Jeremiah said, “Alas! (Eicha) She sits in solitude…” (Lamentations 1:1).

R’ Levi said, “This is analogous to a noble-woman that had three servants, one saw her when she was in comfort, one saw her in her licentiousness, and one saw her in her disgrace. Similarly, Moses saw Israel in their honor and comfort and said, “How can I bear this people alone…”, Isaiah saw them in their licentiousness and said, “How has the faithful city become a harlot…”, and Jeremiah saw them in their disgrace and said, “Alas! She sits alone…”

These verses of Eicha are all read in the month of Av – the verses in Deuteronomy and Isaiah are read on the Shabbos before Tisha B’Av and the book of Lamentations is read on Tisha B’Av – and, taken together, they give us a key to the basic message of Av. The Elef HaMagen (Commentary on the Torah by Rav Eliezer Papo, d. 1824, author of the Pele Yo'etz) draws a connection between these three verses of Eicha and a passage in the Talmud (Yoma 35b):

A poor man, a wealthy man, and a wicked man are brought before [the heavenly court for] judgment. They say to the poor man, “Why didn't you study Torah?” If he responds that he was too poor and was preoccupied with his livelihood, they say to him, “Were you more impoverished than Hillel?” [Hillel the Elder, one of the greatest sages of the Talmud, was also an extremely poor man.] … 

They say to the wealthy man, “Why didn't you study Torah?” If he responds that he was wealthy and was preoccupied with his financial obligations, they say to him, “Were you more wealthy than Elazar ben Charsom?” [Rabbi Elazar ben Charsom was a prominent sage who was also extremely wealthy.]…

They say to the wicked man, “Why didn't you study Torah?” If he responds that he was very good-looking and was [therefore] preoccupied by his desires, they say to him, “Were you more beautiful than Joseph HaTzadik (the Righteous)?” [Joseph, the son of Jacob, was extremely beautiful and was severely challenged in this regard when he lived in the home of Potiphar in Egypt.]…

Thus we find that Hillel obligates the poor, Rabbi Elazar ben Charsom obligates the wealthy, and Joseph HaTzadik obligates the wicked.

The Talmud gives three categories of rationalizations – the excuses of poverty, wealth, and temptation – that people rely upon to deny their responsibility for their moral failures. Almost every excuse that we make for ourselves falls into one of these three categories. These three excuses are paralleled in the three verses of Eicha. Moses spoke of the Jewish people in their time of success, paralleling the challenge of wealth; Isaiah spoke of the Jewish people in their time of sin, paralleling the challenge of temptation; and Jeremiah spoke of the Jewish people in their time of suffering, paralleling the challenge of poverty.

Rav Avigdor Miller

The Midrash (Eicha Raba 1:1) points out the connection between the word Eicha and the word Ayeka (both words are spelled identically) in Genesis 3:8, when, after the sin of eating from the Tree of Knowledge, God calls out to Man, “Ayeka?" - "Where are you?” What exactly was God asking? God certainly knew exactly where Adam and Eve were hiding! Rav Avigdor Miller explains:

Every sinner hides from Hashem… behind self-justifications and self-deceptions. ...all sinners are actually hiding from Him behind their barricades of self-deception and self-justification. ... Hashem calls to the Man: “Where are you?” meaning: Reveal yourself to Me, by removing the barricades of self-justification and false reasoning behind which you attempt to hide from Me.

The cry of Eicha – How can it be! – alludes to that original call of Ayeka – Where are you? – in which God calls us to stop deceiving ourselves and return to Him. The tragedies we mourn in the month of Av are repetitions of that call, intended to shake us out of our complacency and force us to accept responsibility for our actions. The message of Av is precisely this, that it was our failures – failures that we continue to repeat – that brought about these tragedies, and that we must recognize this and acknowledge our own power to change our behavior. We are not slaves to our circumstances; as human beings we are fundamentally free to control our actions, and we therefore bear the responsibility to do so.

Maimonides

Maimonides devotes two full chapters of his laws of repentance to the topic of free-will (Hil. Teshuva 5:1-3):

Free-will is given to every human being. If he wishes to turn himself to the good path and to be righteous, he has the ability to do so, and if he chooses to turn himself to the bad path, and be wicked, he has the power to do so....

Do not think... that God decrees upon a person at the beginning of his existence whether he will be righteous or wicked. It is not so! Rather, every single human being has the ability to be as righteous as Moses our Teacher, or as wicked as Jeroboam....

This concept is a major principle and the pillar of the Torah and the Commandment, as it says (Deuteronomy 30:15), "See, I have placed before you today life and good, and death and evil." And it is written (ibid. 11:26), "See, I have placed before you today blessing and curse."

Maimonides concludes his discussion of free-will stating (Hil. Teshuva 7:1):

Since, as we have explained, every human being has free-will, a man should strive to repent and to cleanse his hands of his sins, so that he should die as a penitent and merit to the life of the world to come.

The recognition of our free-will and responsibility is of fundamental importance as we enter the month of Elul – the month of teshuva (repentance). As long as we deceive ourselves into thinking that our actions are not within our control, teshuva is impossible. It is only after we accept responsibility for our deeds that we can begin the process of teshuva.

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