Book Review: "Daven Your Age" by Rabbi Yehoshua Grunstein

In Daven Your Age, Rabbi Yehoshua Grunstein makes a sincere attempt to respond to a well-known dilemma; the fact that many adults have failed to grow up in their approach to prayer and still see it from the perspective of when they last studied it, in grade school. Rabbi Grunstein therefore attempts to reintroduce many aspects of this most basic element of Jewish spirituality in a way that is intended to appeal to adults and their concerns.

The book is divided into five sections. The first section is a general overview of basic ideas about prayer. The second section discusses the importance of communal prayer, and the next three sections discuss various aspects of the daily morning prayer service. Each chapter is followed by a brief summary of the topics covered, and these summaries are then collected as a final appendix to the entire book.

One of the difficulties I had when reading this book is that it is fairly obvious that I am not part of Rabbi Grunstein's target audience. While I will readily admit that I am very far from where I ought to be with regard to my prayer, I found the topics that Rabbi Grunstein discussed to be very elementary and I often felt that he was glossing over many major issues, topics, and sources that I would have expected to be covered. This was especially true in the first section of the book. In my opinion, the final three sections, which deal with the details and language of the prayers are far stronger than the first two.

I had similar issues with the style of presentation, which I often felt was excessively informal and "chatty".

However, ultimately these are a questions of taste and style, and it is difficult to judge whether Rabbi Grunstein made the right decision in these areas, especially as I am not really clear on the nature of his target audience.

While I have a number of criticisms of the content of the book, most of these criticisms are about minor details that aren't really worth detailing. The one exception is in the first chapter of the book, where Rabbi Grunstein incorrectly assumes that the Biblical concept of "service of the heart" refers exclusively to a spontaneous, emotional experience. Rabbi Grunstein then compounds this error by reading this idea into the words of two major Jewish authorities, Maimonides and Nachmanides, in their debate over the Biblical obligation to pray. While there is no question that spontaneous, informal prayer is a very important aspect of Jewish prayer, there is no question whatsoever that formal, structured prayer is also a fulfillment of the Biblical commandment of "service of the heart." The debate between Maimonides and Nachmanides is on the nature of the obligation, but all sides agree that all sincere prayer, whether spontaneous or formal, is a fulfillment of the commandment to serve God "with all your heart."

However, with the exception of this one error (which, unfortunately, is in the first chapter of the book), the book is reasonably well-done. The basic themes that Rabbi Grunstein focuses on are all valid and important (even if I would have presented them somewhat differently), and I am sure that there are many people who would benefit from reading his book.

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The Thirteen Attributes of Mercy - The 13 Middos Shel Rachamim

One of the main features of the prayers of the High Holy Days is the recitation of the י"ג מדות של רחמים – the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy. These play a particularly prominent role in the daily Selichos recited at this time and in the Yom Kippur prayers. The Thirteen Attributes of Mercy were first revealed to Moses by God in the aftermath of the sin of the golden calf, when God forgave the Jewish people. (Exodus 34:6-7) The Talmud (Rosh Hashana 17b) tells us that God established a covenant that the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy never go unanswered and that God instructed Moses, “Whenever the Jewish people sin, let them perform this ‘order’ and their sins will be forgiven.”

There are, unsurprisingly, a vast number of commentaries on the exact meaning of these Thirteen Attributes and there is even some dispute about exactly how the words in these two verses should be divided into thirteen. For the ordinary person who wishes to recite the Thirteen Attributes with proper kavanah (intent), however, there is a need for a basic, straightforward, interpretation of the attributes that one can actually have in mind during prayer.

Moreover, as should be obvious, the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy are not a magical incantation of forgiveness. The Reishis Chochma (R’ Eliyahu di Vidas d.1592) writes (שער הענוה פרק א') that the Gaonim point out that the Talmud does not say that the Jewish people should “recite this order” for their sins to be forgiven, but that they should “perform this order.” This means that we must emulate these middos (attributes) in our own lives, and through this we will gain forgiveness. It is therefore important that when we recite these attributes, we have a clear idea of what they mean, not only as descriptions of God’s mercy, but also as practical guides for our own behavior.

The following is an highly condensed explanation of the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy that I compiled several years ago for my students (based on a wide variety of sources). After each attribute I am including, in parentheses, some additional commentary and notes on how we can apply this middah in practical terms. 

1. ה' – “Hashem” – God is merciful before we sin. (Even though He knows that we will sin, He is still merciful. So too, we should be kind and considerate to others, even if we don’t think they will appreciate it or reciprocate.)
   
   
2. ה' – “Hashem” – He is merciful after we sin when we repent. (If someone hurt us and sincerely wishes to make amends, we should forgive them wholeheartedly.)
   
   
3. א-ל – “God” – His power saves us from our sins after we repent. (If someone sincerely wishes to make amends for hurting us, then we should share the burden of reparation with them.)
   
   
4. רחום – “Merciful” – His mercy is active even before we repent. (If someone hurt us, we should not respond with anger and rejection, but with love and kindness, showing that way to forgiveness is still open.)
   
   
5. וחנון – “And Gracious” – He is kind to us even when we have not earned it.
   
   
6. ארך אפים – “Slow to Anger” – He waits patiently for us to repent. (Instead of punishing us immediately for our sins, as would be justified, God gives us time to repent on our own and avoid punishment. So too, if someone wrongs us, we should give the person time to make amends.)
   
   
7. ורב חסד – “And Abundant in Kindness” – He is biased to judge us favorably. (Whenever there is room for “doubt”, God’s kindness inclines Him to judge us favorably. Similarly, whenever there is room for doubt, we should judge others favorably.)
   
   
8. ואמת: – “And Truth” – He keeps His promises of good even if we are not deserving. (If we promised to do a good thing for another person, we should keep our word even if the person no longer deserves it.)
   
   
9. נצר חסד לאלפים – “He Keeps Kindness for Thousands [of generations]” – He rewards the righteous for two thousand generations. (If we owe a debt of gratitude to someone, we should continue to express that gratitude even to that person’s descendants.)
   
   
10. נשא עון – “He Lifts Up Sin” – When we repent, God “lifts up” our sins [of temptation]…
    
    
11. ופשע – “And Rebellion” – And our sins of rebellion…
    
    
12. וחטאה – “And Error” – And our unintentional sins, and transforms them into merits. (When a person sincerely wishes to make amends for hurting us, we should use this as an opportunity to develop an even closer friendship with the person.)
    
    
13. ונקה – “And He cleans” – Even when we need to be punished (i.e. cleansed) for our sins, He does so gradually, rather than overwhelmingly at once. (Even with repentance, the spiritual damage caused by the more severe sins may still require suffering to fully rectified. Even so, if the total punishment would be beyond our capacity to handle at once, then God spreads it out over time. So too, even in those cases where we must demand that someone make reparations for the harm that they have caused us, we should still be merciful and not demand that they do so in a way that is too difficult for them to handle.)

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The Fundamental Beliefs of Judaism - The Thirteen Foundations of Maimonides

About 800 years ago, Rabbi Moses Maimonides saw the need for a formal compilation of the most fundamental Jewish beliefs. The beliefs enumerated by Maimonides were certainly not new to Judaism; on the contrary, they were all broadly accepted concepts in Judaism.

In his compilation, which he wrote as part of his commentary on the Talmud, Maimonides succeeded in creating a summary of Jewish religious doctrine that has been accepted by Jews all over the world. Brief versions of these thirteen foundations are printed in most Jewish prayer books and many Jews recite them on a daily basis. The following is a basic summation of the thirteen foundations:

1. The First Foundation is to believe in the existence of God. God is defined as the Creator of all that exists. He is entirely independent of all that exists, but all that exists is dependent on His constant maintenance and control.
2. The Second Foundation is that God is one. God is absolutely simple; He has no parts or divisions, and there is nothing that can be compared to Him.
3. The Third Foundation is that God is not physical and physical concepts cannot be applied to Him.
4. The Fourth Foundation is that God existed prior to everything else.
5. The Fifth Foundation is that it is proper to serve God and it is improper to serve any other being, no matter its stature, even as an intermediary to God.
6. The Sixth Foundation is that there have been—and will be—people who have received communications from God. These people are called prophets.
7. The Seventh Foundation is that the prophecy of Moses, as embodied in the Torah—the first five books of the Bible—has absolute authority over all other prophecy. Moses achieved a higher level of prophecy than will ever be achieved by any other human being.
8. The Eighth Foundation is that the Torah is from God. We believe that the Torah that was conveyed to us by Moses is entirely the word of God. Even Moses himself did not add anything on his own.  This is also true for the traditional explanation of the Torah, which was also received directly from God. This traditional explanation is called the Oral Torah.
9. The Ninth Foundation is that the Torah is permanent. We may not add anything to or remove anything from the Torah. This is true for both the Written and Oral Torah.
10. The Tenth Foundation is that God knows the deeds and thoughts of man and never turns His eyes from us.
11. The Eleventh Foundation is that God rewards those who obey the commandments of the Torah and punishes those who violate its prohibitions. The primary domain of reward and punishment is in the afterlife.
12. The Twelfth Foundation is that God will eventually send the Messiah. The Messiah will be a descendant of King David. He will return the Jewish people to the land of Israel and rebuild the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. At this time the world will enter into a time of complete peace and security and all mankind will know God and serve Him wholeheartedly.
13. The Thirteenth Foundation is that at some time in the future all the righteous people from all time will be resurrected.

These are the thirteen fundamental beliefs of Judaism. Maimonides’ use of the word “foundations” is very specific. Just as in erecting a building, the foundation is only the beginning; similarly, these foundations are only a starting point.

There is a wide spread notion, found in many popular books on Judaism, that Judaism makes no creedal demands upon its adherents, but demands only righteous action. This myth originated in the 18th century, and there is no support for it anywhere in traditional Jewish literature, whether in Scripture, the Talmudic and Kabbalistic literature, the writings of the medieval Jewish philosophers, or later.

Adherents to this misconception often point to the controversy surrounding Maimonides’ Foundations as evidence for their case. They assume that the critics of Maimonides were upset that he had created a list of required beliefs, when, they believe, Judaism doesn’t have any required beliefs. This is not what the controversy was about. On the contrary, the main criticism of the principles was the implication that these thirteen principles had a status above and beyond the rest of the Torah. As the critics put it, one is obligated to believe in every word of the Torah! What justification does Maimonides have in giving priority to these thirteen?

Other criticisms were based - explicitly or implicitly - on the answers given to the above challenge. Whatever the function of these thirteen principles, critics would argue that the list could be modified to better serve that function.

For further study on this topic, see the excellent book, With Perfect Faith
, by J. David Bleich.

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The Structure of Shoshanas Yaakov

It is customary to sing Shoshanas Yaakov after the reading of the Megillas Esther, both at night and by day.

While we tend to think of it as a song in its own right, Shoshanas Yaakov is actually just the conclusion of the poem Asher Heini (which, in most congregations, is recited in full after the megillah reading on Purim night). Asher Heini is a very ancient poem. R' Seligmann Baer (d.1897), in his Siddur Avodas Yisrael, describes Asher Heini as "אחד מן הפיוטים קדמוני הקדמונים" - "one of the earliest of the early (liturgical) poems." The Machzor Vitry (p.214) ascribes the poem to the Anshei Knesses HaGedolah, at the beginning of the Second Temple period. The poem is written in alphabetical order; the first sentence begins with the letter “aleph”, and each following sentence begins with the next letter in the Hebrew alphabet. The first two sentences of Shoshanas Yaakov (“Shoshanas Yaakov…” and “T’shuasam hayisa…”) complete the alphabet. 

In the version of the poem found in Machzor Vitry (an important liturgical work compiled by Rabbi Simcha of Vitry, d.1105) there are two verses that follow after the completion of the alphabet. The first is a slightly different version of the familiar verse “L’hodia sh’kol…”. The second is a verse that is omitted from all modern versions (that I am aware of), "כי אתה מגן לצדיקים ומושיע לעמו ישראל בעת צרה" - "For You are the shield of the righteous and the savior of His people Israel in times of oppression."

The next section of Shoshanas Yaakov, "Arur Haman asher bikeish...", is based upon Chazal’s injunction (מס' סופרים יד:ו, ירושלמי מגילה סוף פרק ג' ועוד) that, upon concluding the reading of the megilla, we should bless the righteous and curse the wicked. This section is not included in the version of the poem found in Machzor Vitri, but is found a bit later (p.217) as part of a different liturgical poem that, to my knowledge, is no longer in use in any community.

It seems, therefore, that the version of Shoshanas Yaakov that we use today is a synthesis of the original poem of Asher Heini and another poem, otherwise almost entirely forgotten, devoted to the topic of “Arur Haman” and “Baruch Mordechai.”

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The Challenge of Davening in School

Anyone who has taught in a Jewish day school knows that (starting from about seventh grade) one of the most difficult things to teach is "davening" (prayer). The simple reality is that talking in a foreign language to an invisible being does not come naturally to many young people (or old people, for that matter). This creates a situation where students are often, at best, completely "spaced out" through the entire davening. Davening becomes a social event where everyone catches up on what happened since the last time they saw each other. (Sound familiar, grown ups?)

In the long term, we need to work with the students on their understanding of prayer as a concept (what is prayer, why do we pray, what does it accomplish, etc.) and also work on their understanding of the meaning and significance of the specific prayers. All of this needs to be built on a basic foundation of belief in God and His relationship with us. This is a long process (ultimately, it is a life-long process), in which prayer itself plays an important role. Like many things, prayer is something we learn by doing as much as by studying.

In the short term, much depends on the specific situation and every educator needs to find creative ways to deal with their own situation. One of the most important elements is not to have unrealistic expectations. As a general rule, it is not reasonable to expect young teenagers to fully relate to davening. This is especially true when the adults around them don't appear to take davening all that seriously either.

As I mentioned above, in my experience, one of the main challenges with davening in school is that many students have extraordinary difficulty refraining from socializing with their peers during davening. I found that, for some of these students, if some kind of arrangement was made ahead of time so that they would sit separately from their peers, within a short time many of these students would begin to actively participate.

Another thing that can very effective is to have the students be actively involved in "running" the minyan (if you have one) as chazanim, baalei kriah, gabbaim, etc., with the adult(s) acting only in a passive, supervisory role. The more responsible a student feels for the proper functioning of "his" minyan, the more likely he is to buy into the whole thing.

One project that I found to be very successful in increasing student participation was what I called the "Kol Ram Club." I taught the students about the importance of answering "amen" out loud, as well as the relevant halachos (esp. no yelling!). I then tracked each student on a daily basis if I observed him appropriately answering "amen" out loud. The tracking was done on a chart on the wall of the classroom. After a two week period (5 school days a week), if the student had gotten at least 7 (out of ten) days of answering out loud, he got a "star" on the chart and a doughnut. Once a student earned four stars (which took a minimum of two months), he got a fancy certificate (made by me) stating that he was a "four-star" member of the "Kol Ram Club."

"Official" Logo of the Kol Ram Club

The project had a huge impact. The minyan felt more "alive" and active, students weren't as "spaced out", and the general tone of the entire davening was improved. (The certificates also turned out to be highly prized items.) It is a classic example of how minor changes can have a disproportionate impact. I did this project with middle school students, so I'm not sure how well it would go over in a high school. Of course, everything depends on presentation.

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Va’eira - The Names of God

In the beginning of Parshas Va’eira, God tells Moses (Exodus 6:3), “And I appeared to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, as E-l Sha-dai, and by My name Hashem^[1] I did not become known to them.” As the commentaries point out, this verse is difficult to understand, as we find several times in Genesis where the name Hashem was used by the Patriarchs, and that God Himself gave this as His name. For example, in Genesis 15:7, God speaks to Abraham saying, “I am Hashem, Who took you out of Ur Kasdim, to give you this land to inherit it.” Clearly, then, this verse cannot mean that this name had been hidden from the Patriarchs.

The commentaries therefore explain that the verse does not say that God did not make the Name of Hashem known to them, but that He did not make Himself known to them through this Name. Every name of God refers to one of God’s modes of interaction with His creation. This verse teaches us that God was now entering into a fundamentally new, more direct and open, mode of interaction with mankind; that the Jewish people would come to experience God’s presence in the world in a manner that the Patriarchs had not. Although the Patriarchs certainly knew of this mode of interaction, and God had even revealed it to them in prophecy, they had never experienced it themselves.

This verse helps us understand the role that the “Names of God” plays in Jewish thought. Whether it is in our understanding of Scripture or in our prayers, a proper understanding of this concept is essential. (This concept is particularly important for a proper understanding of the teachings of kabbala.)

The most basic principle to understand is that, in Himself, God is innominate; i.e. He has no name, and, indeed, He cannot be named. The Tikkunei Zohar (17b) states, “You [God] have no knowable name.” Rabbi Chaim of Volozhin expands on this concept (Nefesh HaChaim 2:2), explaining that the actual essence of God is completely hidden from us and cannot be referred to by any name whatsoever, even Hashem. All the Divine names that we find in Scripture, or that we use in prayer, are to be understood as referring only to aspects of God’s relationship with creation.

There is a very basic dichotomy in our relationship with God. On the one hand, we strive for an intimate connection (deveikus) with God. He is our Father and our Beloved. We speak to Him in prayer, we recognize His hand in our lives, and we strive to understand and obey His will as expressed in His Torah.

On the other hand, we also recognize that God is fundamentally unknowable, that we can never even begin to understand His true nature because He is infinitely beyond all of creation. Even the highest angels have no conception of God’s true nature.

This dichotomy is fundamental to Judaism and finds expression in many aspects of Jewish practice. For example, in every blessing that we recite, we find a startling grammatical anomaly. Every blessing begins in the second person, “Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe…”, yet it ends in the third person, “Who sanctified us with His commandments…” or “that all came to be through His word.”

This grammatical shift is done to express our recognition that, while we have a personal relationship with God in which we can speak to Him directly, yet we cannot know Him as He truly is. He reveals Himself to us through His actions, yet He is hidden from us in His essence. (ראה רבינו בחיי, כד הקמח, ברכה)

At first glance, it might seem that this recognition makes it more difficult for us to have a proper relationship with God. Even if this were true, it would not diminish the importance of this recognition, as a relationship with God that is based upon a false conception of His nature is fundamentally flawed, and if the misconception is bad enough, it may not be a relationship at all.

The truth is, however, that it is only through our recognition that God is fundamentally above and beyond any human conception that it is possible for a person to have a personal relationship with God in the first place. If God’s true nature existed within the limited and finite realm of human comprehension, then it would be simply impossible to believe that He has a personal, intense, loving relationship with every single human being.

The “Names of God” are given to us, by God, as a means for us to connect to Him. He wishes us to develop an emotional, human, relationship with Him, as our Father, our King, our Beloved. In that mode, we are expected to use these names in a human manner, as if they refer to God Himself. Yet, at the very same time, we must always remember that, in His essence, He is above and beyond any possible human understanding, and we can only know Him indirectly, through what he reveals to us in His Torah and His creation. It is in this sense that Jewish tradition speaks of the entire Torah, and indeed, all of Creation, as being made up of "the names of God."

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[1] The term Hashem literally means, "the name", and is used in Jewish literature to refer to the four-lettered "personal" name of God (the Tetragrammaton).

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Shemos - Israel: The Firstborn Son of God

When instructing Moses of his mission to bring the Jewish people out of Egypt, God tells Moses that the first thing he must say to Pharaoh is, "My son, my first-born, is Israel." (Exodus 4:22) This famous verse is the first place in the Torah that speaks of the idea that the Jewish people are, in some unique sense, the son of God.

How is this to be understood? Like all human beings, the Jewish people, are descendants of Adam and Eve. We all come from the same ancestors, so in what sense can we be said to be the children of God, as distinct from the rest of humanity?

The key to understanding this is a concept that may be best summarized in a classic teaching of the Baal Shem Tov (18th century), "A person is located where he places his thoughts" (ספר הבעש"ט נח:נו). This means that our thoughts create our spiritual reality. Our relationship with God is dependent, almost entirely, on our achieving a proper mental perception of that relationship. Thus, for example, when a person thinks himself to be in the presence of God, then this becomes his spiritual reality; at that moment, he is standing before the Divine Presence.

This is a central concept in Jewish thought and is particularly important in understanding the Jewish approach to prayer. It helps explain, for example, why, in prayer, we engage in practices that mimic standing before a human king. Such practices help solidify our mental perception that we are standing before God, the true King, thereby bringing about the actual reality of God's presence.

This concept also explains why the Torah places so much importance on avoiding incorrect conceptions of God, as in idolatry and heresy. To the degree that our conception of God is incorrect, our relationship with God is weakened.

R' Meir Simcha of Dvinsk

With this concept we can understand the commentary of the Meshech Chochma (Rabbi Meir Simcha of Dvinsk d. 1926) on this verse. The Meshech Chochma explains that the special status of a first-born son comes from the fact that he "made" his father into a father. In a similar sense, by recognizing God as the Creator and Master of the Universe, the Jewish people "made" God into their Father. We are the children of God because we recognize God as our father.

In a similar comment, Rabbi Zalman Sorotzkin (d.1966) expands on this idea, pointing out that the time will come when all mankind will properly acknowledge their Father, and at that time all mankind will have the status of "children of God." However, even then, the Jewish people will continue to have the unique status of God's first-born son.

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